Potpourri for $500

That's One Small Step for a Very Small Man, Eh?

2012-01-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

Laura has informed me that Canada has won the race to privately launch Lego to the edge of space. They would have sent him farther but the helmet fell between the couch cushions.

A blog post to some... AN OBITUARY TO OTHERS!!!

2012-01-27T19:00:00.000-05:00

Scottish actor Nicol Williamson has died. He is best known to people of my age and cultural ignorance for his "dibs on the scenery and pass the salt" role as Merlin in John Boorman's Excalibur, a film not noted for its subtlety.

From the linked obituary it sounds as though Williamson was the Klaus Kinski of British theater, and apparently neither he nor ex-lover Helen Mirren, cast as Morgana, were thrilled to be in the same production again, having endured each other through a disastrous run of The Scottish Play.

Rest in the arms of the dragon.

PS - Behold the inspiration for the post title:

Layout Update 24: Do Not Mock the Mockup

2012-01-25T20:45:00.000-05:00

I managed to put in a few hours of work this weekend, primarily devoted to completing the transition section and the mainline. I gave the bridge a coat of Grimy Black to cut down on the shine, and test-fitted it to the abutments. The rural-side end of the approach to the bridge had to be trimmed back about a quarter of an inch, but everything fits together nicely now. I also cut and fit the wing retaining walls for the bridge abutments and test-fitted them in place as well. Finally, I measured and cut the remaining section of mainline track, and test-fitted it in place. Here's what all this test-fitting accomplished:

It is no coincidence that I have planned a road crossing right where the feeder lines make their unsightly appearance on the lower level track; the pavement and crossing should cover those up nicely.

The right-hand side of the bridge marks the boundary between two electrical control blocks, but with the lefthand approach track in place I realized that the bridge, even though not permanently affixed, was powered. The next decision was easy:

Here we see (albeit in poor focus) the train at about the farthest point it can go without hitting the pushpins holding the track in place, off to the lower right:

As one of my intended "signature scenes" I am very pleased with how even the rough mockup looks.

I should caution that I am not nearly at the stage where any of this can be permantly installed. The biggest priority is the scenery behind the bridge, which I need to do before installing the bridge. That's going to be quite the demonstration project; even though it is a very small area (no more than a couple square feet) it will involve modeling changes in elevation, water and vegetation. I have experience in exactly none of these things (although I've completed the basic landform by carving and shaping the foam board).

In a late-evening work session, I managed to get trucks and couplers installed on the remaining cars in my work train (crane car and its idler flatcar) and nine additional freight cars. I also want to tackle a steam locomotive (tender at least) coupler conversion so I can run a train behind my preferred type of motive power. However, I am trying to focus all available time and effort on the transition section, since my self-imposed goal is to have the mainline complete by the beginning of March. With my work train back in service, things should speed up!

First!

2012-01-25T14:15:00.000-05:00

When Dave S. (a.k.a. "J. Jonah Jameson") consented to my participation in this blog, he had the unreasonable expectation of immediate output on my part. Some explanation is in order for the delay of my first "real" post.

Dave introduced me on December 20. Four days before Christmas. Really? Any idea how hard it is to muster an original thought regarding the holiday season? War on Christmas dogs singing jingle bells Christmas Food Court flash mob -- blah humbug.

Then there's Reddit. Pay a visit if you haven't. You'll find concentrated badinage, organized by topic and moderated. I've enjoyed more belly laughs from the wit on this site than from any other source I can remember. Reddit = black hole of free time.

Finally, there's Skyrim. This game is often heard to be compared to crack cocaine, but that misses the mark. To this gamer, Skyrim is cannabis, only in video game form. Habitual playing of Skyrim leads to loss of motivation in all areas and a distorted sense of the passage of time. I know this is true because, in this game, I've actually passed an enjoyable real-life hour sorting and storing virtual armor, weapons, food ingredients, potion elements, and miscellaneous expedition accoutrement into virtual drawers, closets, and sacks within my rustic virtual house. Sadly, my Skyrim cottage (named "Breezehome") is neater and better organized than my analog cottage ("Sh**hole").

Why then am I here? Therapy.

I realized that when I apply myself to a task that takes a serious amount of time or effort or concentration (such as preparing a complex stew, shuffling a reorganized bookcase, copyediting a dull manuscript, or rewiring a network), my inner monologue as I perform that task turns to: "Why aren't you writing something?" Sometimes I think a thought that, at that moment, seems eminently publishable.

But when I put myself in front of a blank screen and start trying to actually write, I think: Time for a quick check of Reddit, or Skyrim, and how's that stew coming along, better have a taste.

Time to break the cycle and break the silence. As for future posts, I will try to meet the bar set by the other writers here: Writing something interesting.

I Find Your Lack of Faith in Cesar Milan Disturbing

2012-01-21T12:49:00.001-05:00

h/t J

Layout Update 23: Extreme Train Room Makeover, Gravity Edition: The Reveal

2012-01-18T20:47:00.001-05:00

I managed to put in a sustained burst of work over the three-day weekend (thanks Laura!) and can report that the train room renovation is essentially complete! With Fiona's help I put on two coats of sky-blue paint on the walls behind the layout on Saturday, then on Sunday I installed one of the two track-lighting (no pun intended, honest) units and began re-installing the ceiling tiles that had fallen. That brief period of work elicited the only real burst of profanity for the entire project, but it was of the highest quality and fortunately the sound did not carry clearly to the rest of the house via the ductwork.

Monday saw the re-installation of the remaining ceiling tiles without serious incident, with additional support provided by installing the brackets for the track lighting by screwing them to the overhead joists. I also drove a couple of screws through tile at a couple of suspicious spots for extra insurance. Finally, in the technically most fraught segment of work, in that I had never done it before and could have killed myself by skipping a step, I replaced the old light fixtures with the connections to the new lights.

Behold:

I will be the first to admit that is a bit darker and that the halogen lights do not illuminate the layout evenly. (As the second picture indicates, one of the fixtures is also not working so I need to replace it. Mmmm, IKEA cinnamon buns...) However, the train room is now a much more pleasant place to spend time and I really like the blue behind the layout.

I celebrated yesterday by unpacking my new gift-certificate plunder and running a train around the available mainline track, after doing a general vacuuming and track-cleaning.

Next up: focusing on basic scenery on the transition section so I can get the bridge installed and complete the mainline. Stay tuned!

Promotions from the Blogroll Ranks

2012-01-11T20:46:00.001-05:00

MB strikes again! Dutifully mining our painstakingly-crafted blogroll, he found this.Visit the guy's site for more inspired inefficiency.

Naturally that put me in mind of this:

Digressing on to this (previously covered here):

Finally, as a followup to this recent item about the most recent entry into bowling's Valhalla, here is what happens continuously in Bowling Hell, courtesy of blogroll stalwart Awful Announcing:

I had not previously considered holding on to the ball in order to prevent missing the pins by other means. On the other hand, I am not sure if I have ever bowled 120 in my life and I am content in my position as the guy who makes the others (including much of the masthead) look good at our annual day-after-Thanksgiving bowling outing. (Maybe I'll sneak onto the gutterless kids' lanes next time.)

There and Back Again, in a Contractually Minimal Way

2012-01-10T21:06:00.000-05:00

The prolific correspondent whose nom de blog continues to escape me, but in other circles has been known as the Mad Bombardier, has sent me a very interesting piece about an early animated version of The Hobbit, predating the Rankin-Bass version by ten years or so and especially instructive in its cautionary tale about contracts. (Side digression, 'cause this is one of those posts: Gollum was voiced by Brother Theodore, whom I remember from his bizarre appearances on Letterman in the 1980s.)

At any rate, I had much the same reaction as Krusty's to the replacement cartoon for "Itchy and Scratchy":

Recalibrate by watching this:

Many thanks to MB for sending that along. I'd offer him a spot on the masthead but that would probably dry up his output.

In Heaven, Leagues are Always Forming

2012-01-09T21:40:00.000-05:00

Laura sent me this obituary of professional bowling's first superstar. She also sent me the lyrics to a song about bowling which has the added benefit of name-checking various Canadian towns. Beauty.

Roll in peace.

Layout Update 22: Extreme Train Room Makeover, Gravity Edition

2012-01-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

Between late November and early December I managed to get the main line complete from the yard to the bridge, and also installed the station track arrival/departure track and station spur tracks: a total of over twenty feet! There is now about four feet of track remaining to be installed on the mainline not including the bridge:

The main and adjacent tracks are not fully operational, as I need to install the servo controls for the four crossovers in that section of track, and until they get installed the turnout points are floating and could easily move while a train is passing through them, causing a derailment. Nevertheless, I was able to at least test the track wiring by slowly running an engine through the turnouts, and encountered no problems.

Unfortunately one weekend day in mid-December I heard a crashing noise in the basement, and upon investigating discovered that a section of the train room's acoustic ceiling had landed on the layout. Fortunately it just missed the NYC RS3 on a nearby track, and damage appears limited to the door being popped off of a boxcar. Nevertheless it was pretty dispiriting at the time.

I need to figure out how to get the tiles back in place (it actually took me a while to figure out how they were held up in the first place) but am also taking the opportunity to make the train room a bit more presentable with a new coat of paint for the walls and trim. I am also going to paint the wall behind the layout sky blue to provide a slightly more realistic backdrop for the trains and scenery.

At this point I have completed the base coat for the walls, and am ready to add the blue paint. Originally I was going to paint a strip about 18-24" high behind the layout, but no sooner had I started marking out the region to be painted that I realized that it would not look as good as having the whole wall painted a single color, which Laura had suggested. With the practice I had with the first two coats, I should be able to get this done on two successive evenings this coming week.

Before. Note spot where bulletin board used to be.

Et voila!

Since the ceiling repair will also expose the electric boxes for the currently totally inadequate overhead lights, I am also taking the opportunity to install some halogen track lighting I picked up at IKEA last weekend (primary mission: pick up cinnamon buns for New Year's Day breakfast).

Once that work is done I will return to tracklaying in earnest and will also get ready to do some scenery on the transition section, since it will be easier to do that before the bridge is in place.

As an extra incentive I cashed in my Christmas gift certificates at my favorite train store (Santa got my note!) and now possess (still in their boxes - c'mon, paint, dry already!) a new engine, cars, a yard office structure, wheels, couplers, paint, and ballast.

Happy New Year!

This Never Happened to Pablo Picasso

2011-12-20T20:44:00.000-05:00

There's an Iowa way,* apparently. Newt must have asked him about the weather in July.

*With apologies to JWT

A Hanukkah Present for All of Us

2011-12-20T20:18:00.000-05:00

No sooner has the sun set than a new contributor joins the award-disdaining* P4500 team! Please welcome the blogger known as Deadly Spoons to the masthead. I am sure there is a story behind that nom de blog.

His Blogger profile gives little away, so out of respect for his privacy and, of course, fear for his spoons, which I am assured via grainy YouTubes that they most certainly are deadly, I will withhold what I know about him in lieu of his first post, which he has rashly promised to produce by Christmas. He cleverly did not specify a year, so he might be safe for now.

*should anything remotely like a nomination come our way, in an as-yet unimagined category

Kim Jong Il 1942-2011: One of These Things is Not Like the Other

2011-12-19T00:16:00.001-05:00

Havel and Hitchens must be cursing the fates in eloquent prose now that Kim Jong Il has completed their threesome. Those looking for a nuanced assessment should go elsewhere. The guy was a hideous bastard and the world is better for his absence.

Czeching Out

2011-12-18T14:05:00.003-05:00

Vaclav Havel has died. Another guy whose support of removing a middle eastern tyrant blots his eshcutcheon I suppose. Black label for Hitch, Piva for Havel. Not coincidently Saddam, Osama and Quadaffi predeceased them.

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011: He Definitely Came Here for an Argument

2011-12-16T17:37:00.000-05:00

Numerous sites have run obituaries and/or assessments of Christopher Hitchens, who succumbed to cancer yesterday. Herewith my modest contribution.

Hitchens had an enormous and apparently effortless talent that he often wasted in picked fights with real or imagined enemies. In this I saw, and was put off by, the kind of debate for debate's sake outlook of a veteran of competitive debating. His greatest mistake was advocating for the invasion of Iraq, and this failure to be on the right side of history will deny him his most cherished goal of being his generation's Orwell. Eloquence in the defense of extremism is, in fact, a vice.

On the other hand he also put his talent to use in highly readable lit-crit essays for Atlantic Monthly as well as a very clear-eyed appraisal of his own impending demise.

I welcome your own assessments of Hitchens' legacy in comments; I am especially interested to hear from JJV on this. Before you write, though, please consider this.

Some of the observations and comments attached to other sites' pieces on Hitchens are quite nasty, and so far all have not seen fit to mention that as of yesterday, there is a woman missing her husband and a young girl missing her father. Kindly keep that in mind.

Resquiascat in pace.

Now He is Six

2011-12-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

Rock on, Bryan. Rock on. Happy Birthday!

Kirk Guides Us through the Kobiyashi Maru of Social Media

2011-12-09T20:00:00.002-05:00

I Hope I Remain as Timeless

2011-12-09T20:00:00.001-05:00

Here's a great story about the origin of A Charlie Brown Christmas, which is more or less exactly as old as I am. We finally got it on DVD some time ago as a replacement for the VHS copy my parents made for me off of good old WHEC in Rochester, NY. While we gained the lost footage pared away through the years by increasing amounts of commercials (no irony there whatsoever), we did lose a PSA recorded by a pre-Next Generation Michael Dorn as well as this essential Pavlovian moment:

We also have How the Grinch Stole Christmas! on DVD and can recreate the unparalleled one-two punch of CBS' lineup of the two greatest holiday specials of all time, period, the end. Nothing against Rudolph or Year without a Santa Claus, that's just how it is.

Make your list, and check it twice to make sure none of this is on there

2011-12-09T20:00:00.000-05:00

Let the heavens rejoice! Dave Barry's annual Holiday Gift Guide is here! Please do not get me any of the items on the list!

H/t Gene Weingarten's Twitter feed.

'Tis the Season for Blogroll Updates

2011-12-08T14:26:00.001-05:00

We have a few newcomers to the blogrolls.

First up is St. Holbytla's Monastery, which is what happens when you consider the Holy Bible and The Lord of the Rings in the light of each other, to the exclusion of absolutely everything else. When all you have is a reliquary, everything looks like a piece of the True Cross. JJV brought this to my attention and insisted it go into the Community Pool rather than the quarantine island that is JJV's Predilections.

I'm no hipster but I do live and work in Arlington, which means I am legally obligated to visit a food truck now and again. Fortunately the fine folks of Bada Bing make a weekly stop near my building, rotating among various locations in Arlington. I did not grow up in the land of spiedies (just outside of it, actually) but I went to college in the land of salt potatoes, which they sometime offer as a side.

Finally, Bada Bing lets folks where they are going to be via Twitter, which is the original reason I signed up for it. Follow me, if you dare.

In Soviet Russia, Lego Builds YOU

2011-12-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

Tip o' the shliapa* to Laura for passing along this wonderful and basically accurate summary of Soviet history:

*It means "hat," people. Minds out of the gutter please.

Raven Reflects

2011-12-04T12:01:00.001-05:00

This weekend marks the end of Raven's antibiotics regimen and we have also been cleared to take her on walks outside of the back yard. Raven's first excursion through the neighborhood was a sensory overload experience, as there are (or had better be) vastly more smells out there than in our back yard. I also sense that she does not have a whole lot of leash experience, but she is making progress there as well.

Last night Raven spotted her first Arlington rabbits*, in the yard of a house down the street. That must have been great for her whippet side, as the breed was designed to run down small mammals, and the rest of the walk was spent on the lookout for more small furry things. (I wonder if her Lab side would then cause her to bring back the rabbit gently in her mouth. Best not to find out.)

Some of the streets in the neighborhood are short on street lights and sidewalks, and since Raven is almost entirely black Laura went out and got her a new reflective pink and silver collar, to which I transferred her various tags this morning. Here she struggles mightily between showing off her bling and scooting over to me because she had not had human contact in at least thirty seconds. Fiona indignantly denies this but I am becoming convinced that Raven is a cat in a dog suit.

*She may have seen other rabbits before coming to live with us. Arlington rabbits are easily identified by their iPhones and brown flip-flops.

Sixth Annual (Delayed) Rutablogging

2011-11-26T10:38:00.001-05:00

We have had quite the busy Thanksgiving here, so the annual tribute to our favorite root vegetable is overdue.

This year we had hoped to use some of our own crop in preparing one of our contributions to the Thanksgiving gathering. While our rutabagas certainly were high achievers in terms of foliage, they came up a bit short in the actual root category. Here we see the Canadian rutabagas I bought at the grocery store, with our largest domestic product lounging seductively in front.

Despite the fact that these were some of the largest rutabagas I have seen, they are far outgrown this year by Fiona and Bryan. Raven seems skeptical.

After much peeling, chopping and boiling, Laura turned the waxy tubers into a highlight of the Thanksgiving meal. I am, as always, thankful for her especially, for our kids, for raven, and for all our friends with whom we spent a delightful holiday. Now grab your credit cards and pepper spray and get shopping!

Now We Are Six

2011-11-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Today is the sixth birthday of Potpourri for $500. Unlike last year we didn't stick the landing on a milestone for number of posts, and we've been a bit spotty of late (plus we haven't posted much), but we are still here and look forward to providing you with the latest on glacially-paced model railroad layout construction, rutabaga preparation, and the 2012 election. Wait, how did that last one get in there? Strike that.

Stick around - either you might learn something, or JCF will resurface. No, seriously, you might learn something.

Meet Raven

2011-11-15T20:30:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, we lost our dog Gracie about a year and a half ago, and it has taken a while to recover from that loss to the point where we considered bringing another furry ward into our lives. In the past few weeks we had begun looking at shelter/rescue websites to see if there was someone out there we might like to adopt, and the week before Halloween we found a beautiful young husky mix who would be appearing at an adoption event that weekend.

Well, it turned out that there were other families interested as well (she was a really neat dog), and after the interview round resulted in deadlock, the winner was drawn from a hat and it was not us. That was harder than I had thought, and I thought I was prepared for disappointment; the kids, meanwhile, were in tears.

Right about then, however, we noticed a skinny little dog -- a Whippet/Labrador mix (or Whipador!) -- and introduced ourselves. She was extraordinarily gentle and really sweet, especially with the kids, and after a bit of discussion we decided to make her part of our family. On the way home, we went through a number of possible names until we hit upon Raven, both for her color and for the impending holiday.

Raven's first week with us was a bit rough, as it was soon determined that she had not only kennel cough but a couple types of intestinal parasite into the bargain. We loaded up on prescriptions and began treatment, but the kennel cough medicine, which has to be taken with food, causes upset stomach as a side effect, so near the end of the week Raven stopped eating. As a result, we ended up checking her in to the vet hospital for a long weekend of IV antibiotics and general care.

Raven came out of the hospital much perkier and is recovering nicely. Unfortunately, since kennel cough is highly contagious among dogs she is quarantined for another three weeks. We are looking forward to getting her energy burned up on long walks and at the nearby dog park, where we are eager to see how fast she can run; I have seen references to a top speed of 35 MPH. For the time being, she is getting acquainted with our back yard, not to mention comfort-testing all of our furniture, but her chief occupation so far is asking for attention:


Please pet me

We are looking forward to introducing Raven to our friends and, yes, even their kids, as Raven is the complete opposite of Gracie who, beloved as she was, did not take kindly to visitors. For the moment, though, JWT, we'll go light on the barbecued chicken.

Don't Electrocute the Naked Guy!

2011-11-13T17:10:00.002-05:00

This was the sort of thing you thought everybody knew by now but apparently grandmothers have ceased telling grandchildren no one takes naked people seriously. The last line is why I posted this as all I could think is "what is this a naked Milgram experiment?"

'In one experiment, people viewing male subjects with their shirts off were less inclined to give those subjects uncomfortable electric shocks than when the men had their shirts on.'

Who did these guys look like shirtless? Fabio or Michael Moore? And what does the English scientist do? "Fancy electrocuting this naked tosser?" "No.? How 'bout this fellow with a shirt? Oh, come now, surely you'll zap a man with THAT cardigan?"

Texas Scientists Find-Texas Governor Requests.

2011-11-10T17:15:00.001-05:00

The Governor of Texas quickly excercised eminent domain to wear invisibility cloak to next Republican debates!

The Only Contest in which Judges are Reduced to Tears by Contestants

2011-11-08T12:06:00.000-05:00

Babushkas, breaking out of their stereotype as Russia's solid, stolid backbone, go fashion forward, per this item in the Washington Post. No word on how the winner placed in the Berating Youth category.

Don't be fooled, though. These ladies will still spear your kidneys with a sack of potatoes if you don't move through the Metro doors fast enough. And ladies, if you sit on a park bench in cold weather, be prepared to learn how that will make you sterile. Frankly, with the eventual dying out of the babushkas, one wonders how the country will function given their omnipresence.

That contest reminded me a bit of this contest among Britain's finest:

At Least You Wouldn't Step on This in the Dark

2011-10-26T20:43:00.001-04:00

It's the children's bedtime here, which reminds me of this item I found today. Hopefully its sheer size would keep it from being embedded in the bottom of my foot should it show up in Bryan's room.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the OW CLEAN UP THIS FLOOR NOW!!!

Blasphemy-Muslims Doubt Allah's Plan

2011-10-17T12:40:00.002-04:00

Now this organization is hilarious in a lot of ways. But one thing struck me-if Allah allows men four wives musn't he believe each one satisfies 1/4th of a husbands desires? Obviously if muslim wives are only covering 10%, husbands should be allowed ten of them. Has Allah erred? Don't let the Ayatollahs find out about this.

Of course, traditionally Muslims were also allowed non-Muslim concubines taken in war so maybe they were to take up the slack. As a third alternative it could be that they are saying that modern Muslim women are falling down (standing up?) on the job.

Of course, some might argue if you start of with female circumcision your odds on getting up to even 25% is pretty slim.

I will say this. I salute the courage if nothing else of the first man to start the "Obedient Wives Clubs of America." Funeral arrangements ought to be made before incorporation.

She Must Have Hidden the Plans on the Five-Inch Drive

2011-10-05T20:55:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what to do with those 3.5" floppy drives (kids, ask your parents)?

Try this:

Play that in the background as you peruse this.

Looking for Louis

2011-10-05T15:42:00.002-04:00

"The problem with France is she doesn't have a King." So says the head of the group of current Nobles in France. Well, that is part of it I suppose. This was a very funny article on down and out I wonder if they are riven by splits between the Bourbon and O'rleanist wings?

Yukon Cornelious Could Not Be Reached For Comment

2011-09-27T11:38:00.002-04:00

This is simply an insanely cool find. Tons of silver from the Raj sunk by Nazi U-boats on its way to Britain in 1941. Dirk Pitt should have found it.

Layout Update #21: Getting Its Spurs

2011-09-25T22:50:00.000-04:00

Thanks to a very large window of opportunity opened by Laura, who not only supervised the (officially) awake stages of a sleepover but then made delicious stuffed shells for dinner, I was able to make substantial progress on non-yard trackwork on Saturday. Thanks to some prep work I had done that night, I was able to knock out a bit more today. Behold:

Both the rural industry* spurs at bottom left and the "lower industrial" area in the top middle are complete, as are the Maintenance of Way (MOW) and Repair in Place (RIP) tracks to the right of the turntable. I also extended the interchange staging track to its full designed length along the lower left edge of the layout. As I mentioned in the previous update, this will allow me to actually run "real" trains, in that I can drop off and pick up cars at various industries, then send them on their way. This is a major operational milestone and I am very pleased to have reached it.

Here are some shots of the work. First, the rural sidings and completed interchange staging track, which will be separated from the rural sidings by a short backdrop:

Next, the completed sidings of the "lower industrial" area. The red pushpins here and on the interchange staging track are temporary bumpers to keep cars from falling off the edge of their world.

Finally, a look at the MOW and RIP tracks. These were just installed a couple of hours ago so they still have their holding pushpins. In the background you can see the coaling tower and sand** house in their approximate locations.

In the shot of the "lower industrial" area you can see some tracks pinned to the cork on the level above and to the rear. These are the main line, passing siding and arrival/departure (A/D) track for the main yard. The next step will be to get those tracks down and the west end turnouts for those tracks in place. Initial test-fitting suggests some very minor adjustment is necessary, but hopefully I'll be able to get to that soon.

I probably won't be able to make it three weekends in a row, but one never knows!

*By "industry" I mean any location that generates railcar traffic, not necessarily a factory or even, in some cases, any structure at all. For example, one of the rural spurs represents a team track, which will have an unloading platform but no actual building.
**Sand has long been used to enable locomotives to get a better grip on tracks, especially when climbing grades.

Obama and Intercontinental rail.

2011-09-25T13:05:00.004-04:00

Now he's even stepping on Dave's toes. Talk about alienating the base. Unless of course he means to build it.

I too remember learing of the golden spike driven in by the president just west of Greenland.

If These Ducks Could Talk

2011-09-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

Recently we informed you of the imminent demise of one of our favorite Capitol Hill dives. Here now is your chance to own a battered, grimy piece of history via the Hawk and Dove Auction. I will state right at the beginning that I had no idea there were that many decoys in the place.

I suspect the banner will fetch top dollar and there's always a market for carven Irish stereotypes. Those with winning bids are strongly advised to boil all items before bringing them home.

Layout Update #20: Now We're Rolling

2011-09-18T21:19:00.000-04:00

Continuing an unfortunate trend, no work took place on the layout between April and, well, yesterday. However, I got a gift certificate from M.B. Klein for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and finally got around to putting it to good use at the beginning of last week.While I had not spent much time in the train room, I had spent some time considering the state of the layout. What I realized was that despite the snail's pace of tracklaying I had a functional representation of an actual, if minimally operational, railroad. The existing track allows for a train to be run from one staging location onto the layout, from which it could then run off to a different staging location. Completing a few of the industrial spurs would enable me to drop off and pick up cars.

So, because I had been away from the layout for a while and felt I needed to re-energize myself for the fall/winter work season, I decided to pick up some trucks (wheelsets) and couplers to allow me to update some freight cars for running on the layout. I picked up enough to convert ten cars; this would be sufficient given the limited trackage, and would also give me some initial experience in converting rolling stock.Of course, since it was my birthday I also picked up a beautiful New York Central heavyweight baggage car:

Here's a look at basically the first train to run on the layout, if only to test the wheels' performance on the track, especially through the turnouts:

For the most part I haven't had any trouble, although the otherwise-nice Rutland cars have slightly different underbodies than the others, and the truck-mounted couplers don't sit quite right. I'll probably end up body-mounting couplers for those and getting different trucks. The cars are almost excessively free-rolling but that should translate into an easier job for the locomotives.Since the layout is very much under construction, I felt it necessary to upgrade my work train cars; you can see them at the right of this group shot:

The next tracks I'd like to install are the repair-in-place (RIP) and work train sidings, to the right of the turntable. As I get new trucks and couplers, my plan is to place "to-do" cars on the RIP track to simulate cars needing repairs, which in a sense they do. Once they have new trucks and couplers, they can then move on to their next destination.

Stay tuned for more frequent updates as we move into the busy (layout) season!

The Internet: You Have Options

2011-09-15T18:06:00.002-04:00

Hey kids!

If you own a blog (let's call it Blog 1) and your blog posts are getting lots of spam-like backlinks from another blog (let's go into creativity overdrive and call it Blog 2), one of whose blogrolls features Blog 1, you have some options.

One thing you could do is try and contact the owner of Blog 2 to report the problem and try to resolve it. If an email address isn't listed on Blog 2, you could leave a comment on Blog 2's most recent post, noting the issue and asking Blog 2's owner to get in touch. Chances are, if Blog 2 isn't some kind of, oh I don’t know, let's coin a phrase here, "douche spam blog," the owner may not be aware of the problem and will take steps to remedy it, since the owner presumably would not want his blogging status/reputation (such as it is) damaged by appearing to be, again for lack of a better term, a "douche." Problem solved, misunderstandings minimized, etc.

Or.

You could wait for what seems to be months, deleting unwanted backlinks from posts and casting private aspersions on Blog 2 through gritted teeth. Then, after an unusually heavy barrage of backlinks, which understandably would be very annoying, you could post identical comments on three posts on Blog 2, identifying same as a "douche spam blog." Simultaneous with that, you could take to your Twitter account and ask your Twitter friends to report Blog 2 to the blog host as a spammer. Sample concluding text could be "Help me out [because] he's kind of a douche." When the shocked owner of Blog 2, having reviewed his comments and Twitter feed, subsequently corresponds with you on the theme of "Holy shit sorry about that I'll look into this and de-link your site but why didn't you tell me earlier and dude what's up with the whole 'douche' thing and Twitter DUDE," you could assure Blogger 2 that his shock has worn off, everybody will forget about this by tomorrow and besides, you yourself have been called much worse.

You could do all that, provided you understand that Blogger 2 is still shocked, the Internet is forever, and whatever you may have been called is irrelevant to the matter at hand.

Stay classy, Blog 1. For the rest of you (and I include myself in this), just because you think it or even type it up doesn't mean you have to click Send/Submit/Post/Flame/Destroy All Monsters.

Speak Up, I Can't Hear You over the Sound of All These Seals of the Apocalypse Breaking

2011-09-14T20:00:00.000-04:00

Hard on the heels of its neighbor suffering what is bound to be a gentrifying fire comes word that emergency backup dive Hawk 'n' Dove will close in October for a grime- and soul-stripping renovation.

I am in no way trying to romanticize the dark, indifferently-serviced Hawk, but dammit, that was one of my dives and to see it turned into one of a chain of like-decorated places (in terms of decor and patrons) is dispiriting. Kids today etc.

This is a Robbery, Dammit!

2011-09-14T19:50:00.000-04:00

Proof that the widespread use of CGI in films is having an economic impact on certain sectors: Gumby tried knocking off a 7-11.

Apparently Gumby tried pulling a gun at one point but was unsuccessful. In any event it wouldn't have mattered since it only shot rubber bullets.

H/t to J who wonders whether the erstwhile robbers fled astride Pokey.

Hair of the Moose That Bit Me

2011-09-09T16:41:00.002-04:00

No word on whether he woke up next to a particularly unattractive or particularly crazy moose.

Release the Hounds

2011-08-31T11:51:00.002-04:00

I am on long record that a man who owns a bar should be allowed to let anyone in he wants, whether smokers, transvestites, or Democrats. Now in N.Y. City they are cracking down on bars that allow dogs to sit at their owners feet. As this article points out this has been going on in NY for 200 years. Now the authorities, run of course by Nurse Bloomberg, are cracking down. In a city of 8 million there are virtually no health problems ascribed to dogs in bars. The nanny has simply ordered it and now it must happen. People go to bars to relax.

You will note that dogs that care for people (and other such animals) are allowed in? Do they carry diseases non-care dogs don't? That gives you some idea of the rationality of this ordinance and its enforcement.

In the last ten years N.Y. has become a place where food that the government does not like (trans fats) but which may taste good; smoking areas, and dogs have become outlawed. N.Y. which glories in its cosmpolitan nature is becoming more provincial than Utah.

New York used to be somewhat unruly. The liberalism with which it was associated was tolerant or anarchic. Now the liberalism with which it is associated is hectoring, meddling and censorious. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.

Irene Up Yourself

2011-08-27T10:25:00.004-04:00

Best of luck to all of our readers and the masthead, all of whom are in line for some tropical storming. Laura and the kids are en route home from New Jersey as we speak, and I understand that JWT's wife has been evacuated from the Rehoboth beaches, which is good as I have no idea how you would cover up a surfboard with plywood.

I have taken the usual precautions, including installing my parents in our family room, bringing in the smaller birdfeeders, and removing the watering bags from our young cherry trees because, well, really now. I have also made an enormous quantity of chili, which may not have been such a good idea if we are not in a position to crack the windows now and then.

Whether or not JJV is in an undisclosed location, I look forward to the forthcoming "This is Obama's Katrina" post with the usual mix of anticipation and foreboding.

Stay safe, everyone, and see you on the other side.

Update: Here now, the obligatory downed limb photo:

This looked a lot smaller when it was hanging from our tree, but the landing gets a 10.0 even from the East German judge (kids, ask your parents) as it missed two roof vents and the side of the house, and did no apparent damage to the roof itself.

We've Gone to 11 But Are Not Stopping There

2011-08-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

JJV will no doubt post something about the solely-Reagan-inspired events beginning on this day twenty years ago, but before he gets on that wellworn hobbyhorse I'd like to discuss something of much greater import.

I speak, of course, of this day eleven years ago when Laura and I got married. It was a wonderful day spent among family and friends, including the majority of the blogroll. I'd especially like to single out CRH for his excellent Best Man speech, and I suppose I should apologize for hiding on him in the sacristy before the ceremony when he came back after running some sort of wedding-related errand.

As it happens, CRH, Laura, the kids and I are in the Adirondacks today as part of our annual pilgrimage, and we shall no doubt raise a glass to the happy occasion, but I wanted to note the event in a slightly more public forum.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetie! I love you!

Fight the Future

2011-08-18T12:53:00.002-04:00

Why are we worried about fuure generations? They are jerks!

There's a Million Stories in the Fulton Chain of Lakes

2011-08-17T20:41:00.002-04:00

Greetings from the North Country, where the beer is cheap, sunshine rather less plentiful except for the past day and a half, and the local fauna entice residents and visitors into a life of crime. Although I would not have come up with marshmallows and animal crackers if challenged to "name something to feed to deer."

H/t Laura who read this while waiting to pick up pizza at the interestingly-spelled Screamen Eagle in Inlet, NY.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

2011-08-13T14:44:00.002-04:00

A professor who spends an awful lot of time with Lord of the Rings has dissected the Republican field and the WSJ's calling the Tea Party "hobbits" and meaning it as an insult. The resulting analysis is a lot of fun. I especially like Boehner and Huntsman.

Click on the title to go to the link.

Get Into the Booth and Vote for a Stall

2011-08-12T22:45:00.000-04:00

Our local recycling material notes a local entrant in the America's Best Restroom contest. The contest site itself is worth a visit; you should go even if you don't feel like you have to, especially since we're going to be in the car for a while. (Sorry, rehearsing the pre-boarding routine for tomorrow's trek to Old Forge.)

The women's line for voting moves much slower, of course.

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Tacos*

2011-08-05T22:50:00.003-04:00

Laura has directed me to this delightful example of interspecies musical appreciation:

Maybe this is how whales hear their own music, although it would have made the setup of Star Trek IV either more or less dire depending on your views on mariachi music.

*I know, I know, it's not a dolphin, but it's close enough.

Still a Hell of a Town

2011-08-03T20:33:00.002-04:00

Via Balloon Juice, please enjoy this musical interlude:

We'll Look at the Latest in Gold-Plated Firing Pins

2011-07-31T22:34:00.004-04:00

Earlier today my good friend Mike Sauter reminded me that we caught the Beat Farmers on their "Pursuit of Happiness" tour 25 years ago in Rome, New York, on this very day. It remains the single greatest bar band show I have ever seen. By chance Mike got hold of the soundboard recording of the show and I hope that he can one day replace the crumbling cassette copy I have with a more durable version, not least because I can be heard clearly on it at one point requesting "California Kid":

They did it without the backup singers but there was an interval in which Country Dick Montana (RIP) was transported via piggyback ride from table to table.

They also did a tremendous cover of Johhny Cash's "Big River" with Mr. Montana on lead guitar:

And of course, they performed their signature tune "Happy Boy," the very first Beat Famers song I ever heard, complete with Bud Gargle:

I don't think they did this song but holy cow it's a great one with a Cash-like rhythm:

This post is dedicated to my erstwhile partner in musical crime JWE, who I would like to assure that things once more will go his way, hey hey, hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba.

Now Cruising the Big Orange Plastic Highway in the Sky

2011-07-27T20:10:00.004-04:00

Co-founder of Mattel and the inventor of Hot Wheels, wife of the inventor of the Barbie Doll (named, along with Ken, after their children), dead at 95.

This happened a few days ago but I was hoping I could get the damn loop-the-loop setup to work like it did on the commercials. Hmph.

The Drake Equation and Atheisim

2011-07-26T13:21:00.002-04:00

As a young geek I saw Carl Sagan and Isaac Asimov propound their theories on life on other planets. The Drake equation was a big deal in those days even though it always seemed non-sensical to me given the almost entire lack of knowledge about conditions outside our solar system. There is one thing I find unusual however, given that there seems to be no logical connection between the two things. The more sure these guys were that there was a plethora of life on other planets the more likely they were to be atheists. The SETI project was beloved by Sagan and Asimov as well.

At about the same time John Paul II speculated that the incarnation would apply to remove sins from other sentient life forms and Ronald Reagan posited that an attack by these life forms would unite the Soviets and us against them. Neither man thought it would eliminate the proposition of God.

Two questions-Am I right about the direct relationship on view on the abundance of life elsewhere and atheism and if so why is that so?

Approaching the Internet Viral Meme Singularity

2011-07-13T18:05:00.002-04:00

Courtesy of my lovely wife TroloLaura, we present to you Trololo(l)cat:

Please to be enjoying. Thank you.

Mila Kunis Outdoes Me

2011-07-13T14:40:00.002-04:00

Now, I have said a lot of things about Communism but have never equated it with casual sex. I have noted that Commies usually for destroying traditional morality but never equated the two as is done here. Now Russia and China have suffered under Communism. Where is the Winston Churchill who will give the speach on this one?

"From Trieste in the Adriatic to Stettin in the Baltic, to San Francisco on the Pacific-a lacey kind of curtain has descended across the West. Las Vegas, Boston, New York, London, Prague, Sophia-all the ancient capitals have fallen under the philosophy of Hugh Hefner. Utah alone, under Mormon supervision, has held out against it. etc..."

From going to the ball with Sergeant Scott Moore to this she is quickly becoming a non-Hollywood starlet startlet.

Wait a Minute, I'm Adjusting My Gloves

2011-07-12T21:30:00.001-04:00

You think they would have come up with elbow garters or something like that. Thanks for the link, RL.

Guess I should have put that at the beginning.

The Mithril Standard for Mashups

2011-07-12T21:00:00.004-04:00

Tip o' the helm to J for this:

Thank God someone is using both the Internet and their spare time correctly.

Its To Make Scientists Feel Worse About Themselves.

2011-07-12T13:20:00.002-04:00

I liked this experiment that produced a data point in support of the theory of that sexual reproduction makes the organism more resistant to disease than asexual reproduction. However, this has got to be the headline of the year. (click on the title for the link).

Death of a King

2011-07-08T18:21:00.002-04:00

This is a nice tribute to Otto von Habsburg, at his birth, heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary. When I was in High School one of my history professors would imitate his grandfather attempting to hold together the Empire and world as everything fell apart. Both he, his father and grandfather were great Catholic gentlemen of the old school and the lands they ruled over were ill-served by those who ruled them for the 75 years between the fall of the Habsburgs and the rise of the Eastern (and Central!) European republics that arose in the wake of Soviet collapse.

The nations ruled by the Habsburgs have undergone a return to constitutional government well. Austria, the Czech and Slovak republics, Hungary and Poland, Slovenia-and now that the war is over-even Croatia-have done very well since they could govern themselves. Romania, with a few more bumps, is also doing ok and is as well a good ally of the United States.

I am not a fan of the "European idea" partly because I believe it is atheistic and bureaucratic, souless and without the civilizational spirit to resists islamicization or even to replicate itself by having more children than pensioners.

The parts of Europe that did not dethrone their kings have the happiest histories and the reverse is no more apparent than in mittleuropa that once gloried in dutiful Christian princes.

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.

When You're Here, You Forget to Post Stuff

2011-07-07T20:02:00.002-04:00

Left out of my previous post on our holiday trip was the quintessentially American experience of dining at the Olive Garden on the Saturday we arrived. I am pretty sure that this was Laura's and my second time at the OG, but the first time was so long ago that I don't remember the exact circumstances and Laura is beginning to wonder if there is a second family somewhere.

Before you get all excited about how this is going to be some East Coast elite takedown of a faux Italian joint that we wouldn't normally go near unless we were paid but we're in far suburban Kansas City so what are you going to do, get comfy 'cause HERE WE GO!!!

Just kidding. We had a pleasant meal, the kids' options were good (yeah, I'm looking at you, KC Airport Sports Bar in Terminal A with NO KIDS MEALS) and the wine was delicious, once the server found someone of sufficient age to pour it.* (This guy, on the other hand, questions the hard-sell of wine at an Italian (style) restaurant. Go figure. Although it was kind of odd to be greeted by a server carrying a bottle of wine.)

However.

Do not try to pass off spaghetti as angel hair. Laura and I agreed that it's a good call given the tendency of angel hair to come out in a single clump, but still.

Do not serve a platter of ziti in a pink tomato/cheese sauce entirely lacking in either a thick layer of bubbly melted cheese on top or the proper crockery in which to serve it and call it "Al Forno." Sticking it in the oven to get it piping hot does not count.

Both of these elicited from us a reaction that viewers of Chopped would recognize: Don't advertise the item as [item name] and then serve something that is not [item name].

For a measured take on Olive Garden's authenticity, read this, then Google "Measured take on Olive Garden's authenticity" 'cause boy howdy is that not it.

*The checkout kid at the Price Chopper also had to run down someone to handle the beer purchase by way of scrutinizing me to see if I looked over 40, otherwise I would get carded. To cut to the chase: dammit.

Fourth of July, Flyover Style

2011-07-06T20:45:00.001-04:00

We returned yesterday from a delightful long weekend celebrating the Fourth among relatives in Missouri, land of the free and home of the M-80. In contrast to most previous July visits, the weather was hot but not disablingly so, and the humidity stayed under wilting levels, so one could actually move around without penalty. Much of the time was spent either in or on Lake Lotawana, with an impressive official fireworks display launched from the lake dam and supplemented by enthusiastic quantities of locally-purchased ordnance.

Another milestone of the trip was my first taste of the fabled Fat Tire Amber, which got an initial "meh" from me. However, the next day I tried it again and understood my initial reaction. As a rule, I prefer hoppier beers to this Belgian-style amber, but having accounted for that, Fat Tire is an excellent example of the latter and it was very refreshing on a hot day. Fortunately, I had also picked up a sixpack of New Belgium's Ranger IPA which was more to my liking, so the beer exploration portion of our trans-Mississippi expedition was not in vain. Although it was too late to go back to the Price Chopper, I also heard good things about the output of Kansas City's own Boulevard Brewing Company, so I'll have to remember that for the next trip out there.

Our trip ended in fitting fashion as our plane approached National Airport from the north, following the twists and turns of the Potomac River and giving us spectacular views of the National Cathedral, Georgetown University, the Mall from the Lincoln Memorial to the Capitol, and hundreds of borderline-dehydrated tourists, all beautifully lit up by the setting sun. The few seconds between those views and the landing consist almost exclusively of the Potomac River coming up to meet you, which always reminds me of the story I had heard years before about airline pilots likening a landing at National to landing on a carrier. Fortunately the runway is long enough to preclude the use of arresting wires so we had a reasonably smooth arrival.

Be Still My Beating Heart.

2011-06-27T14:57:00.002-04:00

I first heard of this singer from a young associate about three weeks ago. Now this article comes out. Anti-Tax; Anti-Welfare state; pro-gun and pro-family and pro-marriage all coupled with un-Government approved vices. Its like the Soviets explicitly designed a spy to take me out.

These are not statements I expect from British pop-stars. The Spices are bland in comparison.

Just One (Sadly, Last) Thing

2011-06-24T19:00:00.000-04:00

Great actor and occasional Hamilton student Peter Falk has died. Loved him in Columbo ("Just one more thing..."), The In-Laws ("Serpentine! Serpentine!"), and The Princess Bride ("You're a very smart boy. Shut up.").

RIP.

Not Much Else to Say at This Point

2011-06-23T21:34:00.003-04:00

So you've managed your team to an 11-1 record over the last twelve games and you're now a game over .500 which God knows nobody expected. Your next move? Resign abruptly.

I leave the summary of the general reaction to Mr. Draper:

OK, that last one was probably Rizzo.

Riggleman seemed like a solid stand-up kind of guy who was doing a good job despite (to grant him his primary grievance) perhaps not the best long-term confidence-building by management. Nevertheless, to pull this kind of crap on this kind of team during this kind of run (people who ought to know better are making hushed references to the wild card, for Christ's sake) is bizarre without some underlying deeper explanation. LATE BREAKING THOUGHT: Is Twitter involved?

At any rate, in the absence of some deeper motivation an otherwise nice guy just bought himself a lifetime supply of angry boos from Nationals Park. Putz.

There's No "H" in "Sanctimonious"

2011-06-23T20:56:00.004-04:00

Chew on this:

Fueled by plenty of ignorance, 4H-ers are purportedly training to carry forward the perennial agrarian bloodbath. At least, that seems to be half the conversation going on in the comments of today's CNN "Eatocracy" blog.

The Masons, the Skull & Bones, and the Boy Scouts had their day in the conspiratorial spotlight; you have to have some seriously deep-seated problems to carry the fight to the kids of 4H. I've known plenty of 4H folk over the years, including friend of the masthead MAK. I assure you that they're an organization of animal husbandry nerds whose goal is to raise animals in a responsible and respectful way, to demonstrate their skill at the State Fair, and to carry that professionalism into the future mission of feeding the world.

Sure, they have the skills, tools, and facilities to string you up and bleed you, but they really want to convince you another way.

Bon appetit.

Sarah Conner Did Die Young.

2011-06-23T16:43:00.002-04:00

In fact, future girls in movies are almost always easy. So are alien women, almost without exception. They just kill or enslave you later.

Now we find that future sex will kill you sooner.

The Big Man

2011-06-23T12:35:00.002-04:00

I was strangely affected by the death of Clarence Clemons this week. I'm not a big music guy but had seen the E-Street band twice long ago in the 80's. I have always felt that Springsteen gave more than a fan's money's worth and Clemons was a big part of that. This link to so many of solo's brings back a lot of memories. My sister loved Springsteen in the 70's but I did not come to appreciate them until college.

Its not on here but I remember Dancing in the Dark's sax as well. It was played an awful lot in college and I liked the song. I would not have guessed he was 69. Just as the Beatles could never be properly reconstituted after Lennon was shot, the E Street Band will not be the same ever again.

As the song says-"I know if there's a rock n roll heaven they've got a hell of a band."

It just got better.

R.I.P.

I Assumed He Was Working the Scoreboard at Fenway

2011-06-23T09:00:00.002-04:00

It took nearly two decades, but they finally got Whitey Bulger. Now we know the real reason why America's Most Wanted got cancelled.

As if Millions of Taxidermy Specimens Suddenly Cried Out in Terror and Were Suddenly Silenced

2011-06-22T20:50:00.001-04:00

Unfortunate news from Capitol Hill today as fire strikes the masthead favorite Tune Inn. I know of at least one occasion on which the entire blogroll was present at a convivial gathering there, except for JCF who was no doubt down the street at Phase One. Given the reputation of the kitchen I am surprised that the entire block was not consumed by a greasy fireball.

CRH and I used to share an apartment across Seward Square from the Tune, and we were kown to make an occasional visit to the watering hole in the company of JJV and such. I do not claim to be a long-time regular, but not only do I remember a time before its relatively recent sprucing up - the fire will actually lend some character back to the place - but I Was There to not only dance at the Tune Inn, but to see someone else in our group get kicked out for dancing at the Tune Inn. (I had been against the whole concept and therefore did not draw the ire of the establishment.) In those vastly more irresponsible days it was comforting to know you could be served merely by uttering "glass" or "pitcher" in a time when only one brand of beer was served.

My most recent Tune experience took place during last year's National Police Week, when my stay there was prolonged by being trapped in the back of the place while a bagpipe band played to an appreciative and eventually deafened capacity crowd. (Honest, honey!)

I will take exception to the linked article's characterization of both the Tune and the Hawk-n-Dove as "dank." Neither place was particularly humid; for that kind of atmosphere you headed up the street to Duddington's Underground, whose basement brick walls literally sweated in the summertime and whose attraction was pitched to me initially as "You'll love it, the place smells like a foot."

On a final, tangentially related note, the post title, while I think appropriate, provides further unnecessary proof that George Lucas cannot write his way out of a tauntaun carcass.

Happy, Happy

2011-06-15T22:51:00.002-04:00

Happy birthday, EMM, who is neither a lesbian nor a middle-aged man.

Also, congrats to the Bruins, who played the more fundamentally sound hockey and almost didn't make it pay off.

I Am Not a Lesbian Blogger

2011-06-14T11:39:00.002-04:00

Mark Steyn at the link notes a weird trend. Middle aged men who pose as lesbians. As I blog anonymously here I wanted to make clear that I am not a lesbian. I am most especially not a hot lesbian. I am even more particularly not a foreign lesbian fighting opression one softball game at a time. Now that I have cleared up that burning question here is a related scoop.

I have been authorized to divulge that JCF is actually a hot, lesbian blogger who has been silenced by the Mullahs of Iran for far too long.

Bachman On the Beach with Van Mises

2011-06-12T16:20:00.002-04:00

This image is one a certain small number of conservative intellectuals will not be able to get out of their minds anytime soon.

or as one Huffington post reader said when she announced her run:

"I'd watch the swimsuit portion of the contest."

Lord High Admiral

2011-06-10T16:17:00.005-04:00

Prince Phillip is to my mind the Royal you'd most like to go drinking with. Not only is he worshipped as a god on a small pacific island but he has pretty much pulled in harness as Prince Consort since before India became independent. He has been named Lord High Admiral of the Royal Navy for his 90th birthday. He has declared that at ninety he feels he has finally "Done his bit." and should slow down.

I link to what the press likes to call gaffes in the title. In point of fact, this former Greek Orthodox (Church of England now) and member of the Greek Royal Family is simply British Navy of a certain time and place. The bit on the Russians is true. He was born only three years after the Bolsheviks killed the Romanovs.

When he joined the British Navy it was the greatest maritime force in the world and had 900 vessels. Now that he is Lord High Admiral it consists of eighty commissioned ships.

Nocturnal Organic Gardening Tip #1

2011-06-09T23:03:00.003-04:00

Hey kids!

If you have a spinning compost bin, and you add stuff to it at a theoretical time of 10:45 PM, make sure to close the lid tight before giving it a whirl!

Or, alternately, make sure to have a shovel and flashlight handy!

Don't ask how I know this!

First in a series!

Kill a Camel for Al

2011-06-07T19:15:00.006-04:00

Dave has sometimes expressed the lengths he goes to to offset my profligate carbon ways. Here though is something spectacular. Killing camels to get credits so you can do something else more important than camel farts. Now as far as I can tell camels in Australia, like horses and burros in the American West are non-native invasive species. I have zero problem with hunting them for useful purposes like meat and skins. But the global warmers of my experience are not much into such projects.

In point of fact if you slaughtered all million camels in the outback, China would build enough coal plants to counter that in about a week. The entire premise that you can, by electing the right people, and installing the right macropolicies keep the world at the optimal temperature (which you of course know) is the end of limited government and an act of hubris beyond imagining. Today it is the camels who suffer. Tomorrow it may be those purveyors of flatulence-the cabbage sellers.

Update: Hi, Dave S. here. The original link JJV provided was blocked to unregistered users of the site (which will remain unnamed, although I understand Breitbart is working some leads. It would be irresponsible not to speculate) so I replaced it with what I presume to be a similar piece, all without noting that I would really prefer that links appear in the text of the post and not under the title. While I'm here let me offer a few thoughts:

Wow, that's a lot of camels.
PETA finds itself in the position of defending non-native wildlife against a primarily aboriginal population. I'll bet that was a tedious debate.
Are those advocating barrier controls prepared to build a much more robust version of this? Per the Wikipedia article, will the fence be patrolled by carts pulled by rabbits?
Perhaps it's not such a similar article. There is absolutely no mention of reducing methane emissions as a stated goal of the camel cull in the Guardian piece I linked. But hey, Al Gore is fat!
I was hoping we would go after Canada next, but it looks like Ukraine's number has been called.

Thank you, good night and God bless the United States of America.

Update 6/8/11: Dave S. again. OK, as painful as this is, I owe JJV an apology. A very similar article to the original may be found here. Not only was he correct in his comments on the original post (concerning carbon credits for camel culling), but JWT sent me that last link as I was discussing the very post with JJV. As a final humiliation, the article I found is from 2009 so is really not germane to the discussion at hand. Sorry about that. The lesson to be learned is to always check your links before posting, and to not barge into other people's blog posts.

Mmmmm, Meta

2011-06-01T21:05:00.001-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted, but I hope to make up for that by adding Sorry I Haven't Posted to my section of the blogroll.

I learned about the site's "editor/collector" via this New Yorker article. One more thing to add to the list of fine products of Buffalo, from chicken wings (that website isn't nearly busy enough) to (educationally) EMM.

Thoughts That Never Occurred To Me-A Room With a View.

2011-05-31T10:06:00.004-04:00

This was linked to by John Podhoretz as "The most embarrasing article ever about anyone." I had another thought however. I never, in fifteen years of living single thought for one moment-"would a women approve of this place?" In fact, women often rented out space in some of my houses/apartments but I'm pretty sure the view was not a selling point. I think the near complete abscence of furniture was the selling point as they had plenty of room. Looking back I can recall many friends, some female, saying under no circumstances can you bring a woman here. Invariably I simply moved in with a guy friend until he got married or otherwise comitted and then stayed in suto until the lease was up. If I found the place on my own their was but one consideration-price and proximity to the Hill.

This is yet more evidence of the disfunction of the modern male. I will say this the book and movie "A Room With a View" might have hinted at this but to spend 10 million dollars on real estate for this reason shows an insecurity so great as to be pathological.

That Kind of Thing Turns Up in the Lunch Line All the Time

2011-05-24T20:56:00.002-04:00

Fourth-graders have discovered a possible mastodon hair as part of a paleontology outsourcing project.

That. Is. Cool.

The Social Security Checks, They Are Arrivin'

2011-05-24T20:02:00.002-04:00

Happy 70th birthday to Bob Dylan, whom JJV has never forgiven for going electric at Newport.

Entirely by coincidence, he was born on the same day Bismarck sank HMS Hood.

Make of that what you will. Folk rock is hell.

Horn Call of Buckland, Updated

2011-05-18T20:45:00.000-04:00

NC goes for two posts in a day with his tip about Hungary's emergency broadcast test directed toward Middle-Earth. This was intended not to scare people living in actual places, but the Hungarian government is suspiciously silent on the reaction from northwest France and God knows it's easy enough to stampede LARPers.

Not as cool as Gondor's system (sorry, the bururum wouldn't let me embed), although that arrangement doesn't provide for staying tuned for additional beacons with more information on specific sizes of orc hordes. Also, I believe most if not all of the extreme weather/natural disasters in Lord of the Rings were magically induced or at least enhanced. Kindly retire to the comments section for Trivia Throwdown, if you dare.

The Caterers of Catan

2011-05-18T20:30:00.001-04:00

For longer than I care to admit I have been part of an increasingly occasional group of board-gamers. The arrival of wives, children and the other trappings of adult life has reduced both the frequency of game days as well as the amount of time available on game day. Game days devoted to such long-form classics as Civilization (still my absolute favorite game of all time) have therefore become game nights in which the game of choice has often been The Settlers of Catan.

Settlers is very popular worldwide and has spawned various interesting signs of devotion, such as these sent to me by increasingly frequent contributor NC:

The Peeps of Catan;
The Pizza of Catan;
The Cupcakes of Catan;
and even
The Gingerbread of Catan

Bon Appetit, but watch out for the Robber.

Update: Kara in comments points us to Catan at McDonald's. I also corrected Bandit to Robber, and surrendered half my resources, rounded down, as punishment.

Composed This Way

2011-05-11T20:28:00.000-04:00

Lady Gaga has been described as a Madonna reboot, but a Facebook friend of mine indicates the roots of her style may run even deeper:

Can "Poker Fugue" be far behind?

I Find the Shifting Details of the Operation... Disturbing

2011-05-11T15:50:00.000-04:00

Typical Imperial spin on the "death" of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Next thing you know, some crank is going to theorize that the Jedi derive their power from some kind of symbiotic parasite. Oh, wait.

H/t Lawyers, Guns and Money.

In a related development, Jonathan Last identifies a spare-time anomaly in deep space, used to power this disquisition on the economics of the Death Star. Well, somebody's got to pay for child care.

What Kind of Sicko Roofies A Spider?

2011-05-08T12:56:00.001-04:00

I have not checked Dave Barry's website-but I suspect scientists are involved. Those perverts have no limits.

The Last Ship Sails

2011-05-05T11:50:00.000-04:00

The BBC has reported the death of the last living combat veteran of World War I. Claude Choules witnessed both the surrender and subsequent scuttling of the German High Seas Fleet at the close of the First World War, then spent the Second World War in Australia responsible for demolitions and wreck clearance.

JJV is away on assignment so I have filled in for him on this momentous occasion. R.I.P.

File under "Sadly Predictable" or "Where Will It All End"

2011-05-04T20:30:00.002-04:00

Those watching HBO's Game of Thrones may not be surprised to learn that its widespread conflicts have spilled over into real life.

I'm not sure I would have watched this even if had HBO at home. Years ago JJV enthusiastically recommended the series to me (warning #1). I got about 100 pages in and encountered a [SPOILER REDACTED] event which indicated to me the high likelihood of the narrative never actually concluding. If I want that, I read history; the little fiction I read should have a beginning, middle and end, or in the case of The Lord of the Rings, a series of endings.

When the TV series began I read a piece about George R.R. Martin in The New Yorker chronicling the long wait for the next installment (A Song of Procrastination) endured, with a surprising degree of bad grace, by his cliffhung fans. It did not take a close reading to confirm my suspicion that Martin has lost control of his creation, which now lumbers about the countryside threatening (probably figuratively) to throw children down wells. No wonder the peasants have cleaned out the torch and pitchfork sections at Home Depot.

I feel kind of bad for Martin. He wants to finish what he has begun but He Just Can't. Maybe he should wrap it with a snowglobe shot or by having Eddard Stark wake up next to Suzanne Pleshette. It sure worked for this post.

St. Jerome is Particularly Vexed

2011-05-04T18:32:00.002-04:00

I note that Geronimo was supposedly given that name by Mexican soldiers who prayed to St. Jerome when he was upon them. The hunt for Geronimo covered two borders and went on for years. He killed people, wore exotic costume, was deemed by his followers to have great powers in fighting those who had usurped their God given place and he had many wives.

I think the code name of such a huge hunt for a wanted man is appropriate. Now if they'd named it Capone I can see the Italians being upset....

God Bless America...

2011-05-02T01:08:00.004-04:00

Well done.

Cow-A-Burglar

2011-04-28T21:40:00.000-04:00

Virginia being over four hundred years old, I would not be surprised to find that the Old Dominion has a law on the books specifically dealing with shoplifting milk while wearing a cow suit. Probably not the stocks, though, as the hooves wouldn't fit through.

A clever lawyer might attempt to run out the clock by arguing that property is theft unless it's theft of one's own prior property. It would make for a real "J'accuse!" moment of courtroom drama although I am not sure who would get pointed at.

I now find myself in the same sort of confused mind that led the alleged bovine burglar to commit the alleged acts in the first place. Better go check the fridge.

800-588-2300 ext. RIP

2011-04-27T20:20:00.002-04:00

From Chicago comes the news that Elmer Lynn Hauldren, famous as the (eventually animated) Empire Today Man, has died.

Keeping a company tradition, Empire promised to lay him out the next day.

Is That a Stiff Upper Lip or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

2011-04-26T20:37:00.002-04:00

Although this has already been reported here (tip o' the driving cap), erstwhile Anglophile/monarchist-of-all-trades JJV had this to say about the English beer created in commemoration of the upcoming royal wedding, brewed with, among other things, Viagra:

Beer goggles plus Viagra. Worst. Idea. Ever.

I am with him on this point, having always thought that the one side effect was meant to balance out the other.

To the Barricades! (Remembering that you can't spell Barricade without Bar)

2011-04-18T20:40:00.001-04:00

Today Massachusetts and Wisconsin (?) celebrate my second-favorite "local" holiday. I speak of course, of Patriots' Day. (My favorite such observance is noted, more or less, here.)

Friend and fellow blogger J contributes this patriotic gem, updated for today's sensibilities. Important as Paul Revere was to the cause of American freedom, it should be noted that he had a substantially better posthumous publicist.

Fittingly, the Sox were allowed to win today, and I would also like to take this moment for congratulating our own Washington Nationals on 1) their sweep of the Brewers and 2) inching above .500 for the first time since May of last year! "Enjoy the next month" is the takeaway from that, I suppose.

I Intend to Blog on This Line If It Takes All Summer

2011-04-14T20:30:00.000-04:00

In a comment to my previous post on the Civil War, friend and frequent commentor Dave P. asserted that "the war wasn't about slavery until it was politically expedient." No sooner had I drafted a response (which had to wait until now to be posted) than another friend and frequent commentor JCC weighed in with a better version of my response:

If you read the actual secession documents passed by the Southern States attempting to leave the Union, it's very clear that the was was about slavery. South Carolina, Mississippi, etc - they knew what the war was about.

Was the North fighting to free the slaves? Nope. They were fighting to defend the Union (short for "the United States of America"). But the reason the Union was threatened? The Southern states seceded to defend the right to own slaves. It wasn't even States' Rights, because among the things that they objected to was the actions of non-slave states to impede slavery (slavery transit, blocking the recovery of runaway slaves, etc).

To expand briefly on this, I would also refer readers to the Cornerstone Speech of Confederate Vice-President Alexander Stephens. "States rights," meanwhile, was the 19th century's version of "activist judges," in that the slave states were more than happy to use the Federal government for their own ends (Fugitive Slave Act, Dred Scott decision).

So, to recap (and in so doing I do not ascribe any particular view to anyone else):

1) The cause of the Civil War was slavery.
2) The right side won.

I'm glad we had this little talk. And Mr. P., I will see you tomorrow!

Conveniently, the Response to Both is "We Won"

2011-04-12T23:07:00.003-04:00

Today marks a couple of rather different milestones. Fifty years ago today Yuri Gagarin became the first man to orbit the Earth, a perceived Soviet victory in the Cold War. One hundred years prior to that man shot 'round the world, a less cutting-edge (but for its time impressive) ballistics demonstration was initiated against Fort Sumter, resulting in victory for those endorsing the right to buy and sell other human beings. We know how well that turned out, don't we.

It's late and I am negotiating the terms of surrender to tree pollen, but I did not want to let the double anniversary pass without snide comment.

Sweatshops and Dragons

2011-04-07T20:00:00.001-04:00

Today's Washington Post had an interesting article about the socioeconomics of gold farmers. I was struck by the fact that while the worlds in which the farmers do their work are virtual and do not mirror the outside world, in that whether you are a king or a commoner has nothing to do with your real-world status, in this case there are in fact parallels to the real world, in that wealthier players are outsourcing the grunt work to lower-paid workers overseas.

This reminded me of something I had read some time ago about the booming real estate market in Ultima Online. Sure enough, here are some listings.

As someone who barely has time to blog, let alone go on various quests not involving T-ball or groceries, I am curious as to whether regular online players can recognize gold farmers and how often they are encountered. I know that this very blog counts at least one such person, and there is at least one commenter out there who could shed light on this. Get back to me when you've finished your raiding and pillaging, won't you?

Luckily for You, a Tipping Point was Reached

2011-03-31T20:31:00.002-04:00

Recently I was reminded how much I enjoy Dinosaur Comics and Basic Instructions, two online comics who combine great dialogue and situations with essentially static layout; in the case of the former I think only the dialogue changes from strip to strip, while the latter relies on combinations of a few basic yet effective images.

I go tired of being intermittently reminded of that, so I created a new section of the blogroll and placed them there, along with xkcd.

Enjoy the new Comics Section!

'Cause It's Belgium, and They Have Waffles, and... Oh Forget It

2011-03-29T22:00:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to the Belgians for edging out Iraq for longest time without an actual government. Once the state-run mayonnaise factory shuts down, they'll start coalition-building in earnest.

And now for something completely offensive to some, definitely to the rest of the galaxy:*

*1996 called etc.

The Wings of Eagles, but More Importantly the Talons and Beaks

2011-03-29T21:05:00.002-04:00

JJV's most recent post got me thinking, although JWT was quicker on the draw. Falconry could be the ultimate weapon in JWT's and my perpetual War on Squirrels. While there are indeed Bald Eagles in the area we could probably get by with the ubiquitous Red-Tailed Hawk,* and since our hostilities are purely local we wouldn't need horses, to say nothing of a giant Wehrmacht castoff. However, I suspect that if Montgomery County considers farmers markets such a threat they would look askance in a very real and legally binding way on hanging out in your yard with a buteo perched on your forearm. Although it would be seriously badass:

Meanwhile in Virginia I'd bet that even Falls Church would think twice about allowing this sort of thing. Arlington might allow it if we pitched it as organic.

Check out the secret lives of our feathered friends here, although I see in New York the terrorists have already won.

*Dirty trade secret the eagle lobby tries to suppress: You know that great SCREE you hear whenever an eagle shows up in movies etc.? Some Red-Tailed Hawk working for scale supplied that. And JJV would take their union cards away if he had the chance. Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on...

Update: Hey kids, you can learn about falconry at Hershey Park! As fate would have it, we are spending Easter weekend there, so this will be worth investigating. "No no no, the eggs, not the bunny! OK, get the kids in the car NOW."

Size Matters Not

2011-03-29T20:40:00.001-04:00

Astute observer MCC was first to point out this highly appropriate XKCD to me. I must say I grudgingly agree to Rule #1 but agree with the sentiments expressed.

I hasten to note, however, that the extraordinarily skilled proprietor of this site (as well as several other related sites) has indeed placed a working scale layout on not only an N scale layout; he then surpassed himself by building an N scale layout in Z scale.

Not surprisingly, XKCD has made Mr. Smith start looking for surveillance cameras.

For my part, I will content myself with sticking to one scale and seeing what happens. With any luck there will be another layout update this weekend.

Reality Bites: Beak and Talon Edition

2011-03-28T21:44:00.006-04:00

Solving the age old quest for a squirrel-proof bird feeder, P4500 presents a soon-to-be-very-active eagle cam, beaming currently from a tiny hamlet in northeast Iowa. The world is watching, including at night, thanks to a night vision camera. The action begins in earnest on or about April 1, but you can't appreciate the before and after if you don't check out the before.

We can hope to see squirrel served frequently this Spring, but this nest is sited very near a fish hatchery. It's almost literally fish in a barrel, so trout will certainly be on the menu.

UPDATE 3/29/11: It looks like the recommended snack of the day is rabbit, although judging from the progress made today, the rabbit is more decorative art than meal.

UPDATE 4/2/11: The hatching has commenced, and it's now clear what the rabbit's role is in this affair--decorative and functional!