Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Lister? Fleming? Salk? Morons.

While the discovery of smallpox and polio vaccines as well as Penicillin had their benefits, science is finally producing something useful. I want shares in the pharmaceutical company that gets the patent on this drug:Type 2 Gonadotrophin. A drug that causes women to both drop weight and inhibitions is a license to print money.

More problematically, we will have to fend off calls by the Bill Clinton wing of the Democratic Party to follow-up with their victory on fluoridation of the water to get this stuff in every reservoir in the country. "Hilary and Ah are vera concerned about obesity and diabetes in our young people." I can hear him now.

I herewith open up the floor for brand names. My suggestions 1) Slimbido; 2) Roundheeliam; 3) Sveltomax; 4) Gasmaslim and 5) Light 'n Ready.

UPDATE: 6) Shiagra; 7) Shealis


LAM said...

....a silly BC pot-shot brought to you by a member of the party that's running a pack of presidential candidates with more ex-wives than sense.

Dave S. said...

Oh yeah, as if you would have fought tooth and nail to keep this stuff out of the water supply back in the day.

Dave S. said...

As for names, SlimFast is already taken.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea that the Clintons were involved in the flouridation decision. Or that JJV was amongst the "corrupting our bodily juices" crowd fighting against it. This blog is an endless source of knowledge :)

John C.

Anonymous said...

And not to be a killjoy, but did it occur to anyone that this might be a gag story? Doesn't "Type 2 Gonadotrophin" seem just a bit precious?

John C.

Dave S. said...

Fluoride was imported into the US via Mena airport. Coincidence?

Also, fluoride makes a scotch and water taste funny.

Dave S. said...


jjv said...

It occurred to me it might be a fake story. However, take a look at how many comments it attracted compared to any recent post. I felt it was worth it.

I am dissapointed there are no new brand names, and, in addition I resent Mr. Slattery's first insinuation. I was however, infelitious in phrasing the Clinton/fluordation thing however. I simply meant it would be sold as a no-brainer health measure by the current Clintonites (not Hillary).