Sunday, February 17, 2008

Does Barack Hussein Obama Make People Sick?

Barack Obama is a man of many gifts. The vote thus far reveals he is exceedingly attractive to upscale latte liberals, youth addled by the rigors of higher education, and members of his father's race. In contrast to HER, he seems fresh, pure and exciting. He is not known to lie as he breaths and generally does not allow free rein to the invective so beloved of the Kossites.

However, as this video montage demonstrates, for some reason women grow ill and must be revived in his presence. A long, difficult campaign season could see an epidemic of fainting in this country unheard of since the Beatles first arrived on these shores and perhaps not since Queen Victoria reigned. The question arises, is this a natural side effect of Obasms, or is it some campaign trick?

I have a theory. The upscale liberals so attracted to Obama have banned smoking in public in all states and localities where they gather in large numbers. It is unlikely they have friends who smoke. Obama is a known smoker who I understand sometimes has a cig or two before appearances. Could this be a second hand smoke effect on a particularly susceptible group? The nicotine molecules, assidiously avoided and stamped out by the macrobiotic scarfing, Dasani sipping soccer mom wafts through the air, strikes the nicotine averse woman and the stimulant is too much for the delicate system. Overwhelmed, she faints leading to this shocking video. This theory does not infantilize women as hysterical fainters, nor impute impure motives to the Obama campaign. Instead, we can blame Big Tobacco and not the Obama-Messiah. Its a win/win theory.


Anonymous said...

How do you explain the conservatives swooning over Obama?\


jjv said...

He is not a Clinton. The idea that he could stop her so we don't have to makes us light-headed. I have to say I thought Hillary/Obama was going to be like that Godzilla v. Bambi short. Bambi's got bite.

Anonymous said...

JJV, this would be funnier if you included the link for the video. Also, his name is "Barack." And finally, I think that the answer to CRH's query is self-evident -- right wingers feed on poison -- ergo, the conservative swooning over a fully in-nicotined Obama.

Anonymous said...

JJV has informed me that the link to the video is in the title of his post. Mea culpa. While his technical prowess has now far surpassed mine, his spelling still leaves much to be desired.

Dave S. said...

JJV is unable or unwilling to learn how to embed links in text, hence his placement of the link in the title (easy to do in Blogger) and the occasional format-destroying mega-URL. I tried to clean up after him but there isn't a broom big enough.