Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Department of Improbable Scenarios Case File #42

JWT has alerted me to this account of a dogwalker trampled by cows in England, and sees this as another mark in favor of owning cats. He's got a point in that no cow would ever make it through those little door flaps.

From the Story Highlights: "Experts say it's very unusual for people to be killed by cows." Can't argue with that. There's also helpful advice about what to do if you're walking a dog and feel threatened by cows. I guess my advice would be "stay the hell away from cows" but perhaps the North of England is not sufficiently expansive.

4 comments:

J. said...

My favorite line of the article is the last, "The average cow weighs about 1,760 pounds." Not 1800 pounds mind you, nor Not 1600, but 1,760 pounds. Because it is important to be accurate -- and so no one thinks the woman was trampled by one of those bonsai cows. Btw, I am assuming by "average cow" the author was referring to the bovine not the dog walker, though what kind of stupid cow walks her dogs amongst a herd of cattle?

Anonymous said...

A very good point about the more docile puny cow population, J. I'd also add that the National Farmers' Union was generously paraphrased and quoted. I assume that a more accurate summary of the real quote is that "it is unusual for people to be killed by cows in Britain [unless the cows are eaten]."

JWT

J. said...

"I assume that a more accurate summary of the real quote is that 'it is unusual for people to be killed by cows in Britain [unless the cows are eaten].'"

Well said, JWT, and so true. Indeed, 'twas a mad cow that done the dog walker in.

Anonymous said...

This was clearly a black-ops cow from MI6. The poor walker saw something she shouldn't've.