But enough of the niceties, because I'm really here to share a public service message. You see, gentle reader, I have proof that Satan is roaming the Earth. Lest you think me a kook on the day of our introduction, I present you--for the first time in any medium--an image of the Prince of Darkness in his earthly form:
For a time, I thought I could keep this bushy-tailed devil's dark powers at bay. I frequently put pepper-infused suet in my suet feeder, and I dutifully placed my other feeders at least ten feet from any potential launching platform. There was some considerable risk in this latter move, because it tended to alienate some worthwhile company, particularly:
Yet, despite my best effort, I now find that my suet feeder is regularly cast to the ground, Lucifer having shimmied down a four-foot chain and, if no pepper be found, run off with the suet. It looks like pepper is back on the menu, and I mean full time.
There is a slightly darker matter unfolding in my yard, as well, as I've recently found two half birds in my yard, decapitated and clearly designed to scare my kids. Perhaps this is not the direct work of Satan, but I'm sure it's the work of his minions: