Friday, April 06, 2012

Don't Grasp My Straw, Bro

If you've spent much time in the DC metropolitan area recently, you may know that the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (Metro) is undergoing a shite-storm over the unreliability of its flagship subway system. Metro's enduring love of deferred maintenance came to light in 2009, when two of its flagship trains collided in a flagship example of flagship carnage. Since the accident, we have endured instances of runaway escalators, serial track maintenace, and ongoing struggles with broken trains. Many of these transit fumbles have resulted in sub-par service and seriously crowded trains. I understate the problem when I say that Metro's disappointing service causes riders' tempers routinely to flare.

I admit not a little fury, therefore, when I learned recently of a new Metro ad campaign that seems to throw a match into the powder keg that Metro has created. I speak of Metro's new anti-grope campaign. Metro, it's Lord of the Flies down here. Last winter, I had a commute during which I became common law married to six people. If you could keep your friggin' trains running, there would be no chance for opportunistic groping, but more to the point, why are you suggesting that there is any semblance of personal space in this mess that you've made?

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