The DNA test revealed that whatever was in the freezer was 96% possum, leading to this shrewd observation:
Bigfoot creatures are said to live in the forests of the U.S. Pacific Northwest. An opossum is a marsupial about the size of a house cat.What the mainstream media fails to note is that possums live in the forests of the Pacific Northwest (or at least I think they do), so clearly they are hiding something here.
Naturally, the guy with the most to gain from this is crying foul and claims lab contamination. Unfortunately, as the press conference was held during the day, the lab scientists could not be reached for comment, as they were hanging upside down from trees by their tails, fast asleep.
Update: JJV gets field promotion from comments:
Big Foot is notoriously crafty at concealing his whereabouts. He is obviously just playing possum.
