We're Drilling in the Wrong Place

Scrap your Prius and fire up the Hummer: Titan has hundreds of times more hydrocarbons than Earth! Better strap on a booster rocket or two first, though.

Clearly the Titanites (or "Tits" as the WW2 era press/New York Post of all time periods would have called them) are hostile to us, as they have chosen to live even farther away from us than sudden-relative-oil-piker Chavez. They must be hiding something and only a half-assed invasion can take care of this extraordinarily distant yet oh-so-imminent threat. Given the lead time required even to half-assedly plan such a half-assed venture*, I think the obvious leader for such a mission will be available -- OK, not soon enough.

Look, if they found Bigfoot on Mars, I'm sure they could gin up WMDs on Titan. Especially if gin is involved.

*The advantage is that you only half to plan quarter-assedly as a result.