This is a Robbery, Dammit!

Proof that the widespread use of CGI in films is having an economic impact on certain sectors: Gumby tried knocking off a 7-11.

Apparently Gumby tried pulling a gun at one point but was unsuccessful. In any event it wouldn't have mattered since it only shot rubber bullets.

H/t to J who wonders whether the erstwhile robbers fled astride Pokey.

There's a Million Stories in the Fulton Chain of Lakes

Greetings from the North Country, where the beer is cheap, sunshine rather less plentiful except for the past day and a half, and the local fauna entice residents and visitors into a life of crime. Although I would not have come up with marshmallows and animal crackers if challenged to "name something to feed to deer."

H/t Laura who read this while waiting to pick up pizza at the interestingly-spelled Screamen Eagle in Inlet, NY.

I Assumed He Was Working the Scoreboard at Fenway

It took nearly two decades, but they finally got Whitey Bulger. Now we know the real reason why America's Most Wanted got cancelled.

Cow-A-Burglar

Virginia being over four hundred years old, I would not be surprised to find that the Old Dominion has a law on the books specifically dealing with shoplifting milk while wearing a cow suit. Probably not the stocks, though, as the hooves wouldn't fit through.

A clever lawyer might attempt to run out the clock by arguing that property is theft unless it's theft of one's own prior property. It would make for a real "J'accuse!" moment of courtroom drama although I am not sure who would get pointed at.

I now find myself in the same sort of confused mind that led the alleged bovine burglar to commit the alleged acts in the first place. Better go check the fridge.

Perhaps a Ballistic Nose Guard...

In an almost-inevitable update to the recent report of a freelance superhero in Seattle, the mysterious comic-book-store denizen known only as Phoenix Jones intervened in a fight and got a gun pulled on him and his nose broken, in that order, by the intervenees.

Hopefully stately Jones Manor has a triage unit.

It's Australian for "Stupid"

Even though it's winter in the Land Down Under, I'll bet that a brisk run and swim would make any Bruce or Sheila thirsty. However, if you're an escaped prisoner on the lam via a run and swim, you may want to think twice about stopping for a beer.

Being a fairly butch society, it's no surprise the fugitive was apprehended at the Manly Hotel.