Law and Order: Culinary Victims Unit

My contact in the world of Eastern Orthodoxy sent JJV and myself this tale of a Ukrainian man lethally avenging a slight to the honor of his borshch.* Tough time to get a lesson in the difference between a figurative and literal stab to the stomach.

Although I am not a lawyer, nor have I played one on TV, voir dire would be especially tricky on this. The jury pool would identify with the deadly insult perpetrated, but their borscht is obviously better than anyone else's (including the rest of the jury pool) so the toilet's too good for the accused's version. To partially quote JJV's response to this, "Peh."

Obviously Borschtfest** guests would never attempt this. No train tour for you!

*There are almost as many ways to transliterate it as there are to prepare it.
**See?

Banana Karenina (fo-fina)

Laura reports that Banana Republic is launching a line of Anna Karenina-themed clothing as a tie-in to the upcoming - and hitherto unknown to us - latest adaptation of the Tolstoi classic. Herewith the trailer:



Laura's coworker asserts that Jude Law and Keira Knightley are two of Hollywood's least liked people. Can someone whose last film experience was not Madagascar 3 (which was actually quite good, by the way) check on that?

Based on this there is no comparison to the 1935 classic with Greta Garbo and Basil Rathbone. I saw that ages ago in high school and remember quite clearly both the elaborate drinking games at the officers' party and Rathbone's tremendous speech (as Karenin) from the top of the stairs casting out Anna. I see that there was also a 1997 version featuring Sean Bean, probably as Anna given his characters' track record (Warning: not for the faint of heart or spoiler-averse):



Herewith the crappy ad copy:

Faux fur on collars, hats and coats fall under the spell of Romantic Russian Imperialism, while richly-textured fabrics in black and dove gray betray the Dior influence.

Yeah, so go to Banana Republic and betray yourself to Dior or whatever. You'll look good on the train or under it!

The Bell Tolls for Trololo

We have waited the traditional one day of mourning to report the death of Internet sensation Eduard Khil. Actually I almost had to prepare a second obituary as I was shocked and pleased to discover that the late Mr. Khil and I SHARE A BIRTHDAY. On the other hand, I had a better time in elementary school as mine was not bombed* and eventually overrun by the Nazis, regardless of what we may have thought about some of the staff.

As the linked article notes, the glorious weirdness came about as a result of Soviet censorship of the song's lyrics, which concern an American cowboy riding home to his wife. Knowing that makes some of the musical style a bit more comprehensible and rescues the title (translated, poorly by me, as "I'm Very Happy that I'm Finally Returning Home (Vocalization)") from the Land of Complete Non-Sequiturs. Depending on how well-known the actual song was to Soviet viewers, it also reminds one of the reliance of authoritarians on mid-level apparatchiks who may not always think things through: "If we let the music play and show the title, but make the singer spout gibberish syllables, Nobody Will Figure It Out." I like to think the broadcast caused the tiniest of cracks in the Berlin Wall.

On the other hand, the Wikipedia bio for Khil suggests that the lyrics merely sucked and they decided to go with the vocalization instead. I think I'll let Occam's Razor fall behind the sink on this one.

Watch this and pour out a dirty communal glass of 5-kopek vending machine mineral water:



*I am sufficiently old, however, to have been herded into the school basement during air raid drills. Ah, the late '60s.