Monday, May 01, 2006

Where every man has gone before.

No, this is not a Paris Hilton post. Ross Douhot, some sort of young Harvard, Catholic intellectual geekoid has this great post at the fantastically named American Scene (the Slatteries will be invited over shortly to actually show me how html works while the non-blogging Slatterys watch the toddlers).

I loved Batman Begins, and I also liked the last Star Trek with the hot Vulcan, Quantum Leap Captain, and George Bush as hot Vulcan love interest. It was called "Enterprise." My earliest memories are not of Brooklyn but of an Army base in Germany. My father would come home and watch Star Trek with me. It was on one year time delay or some such. Kirk is not a Republican. He is a John Kennedy "New Frontiersmen." I loved him then and I love him now. Later, in the 70's my sisters and I would fight over whether the reruns of the Brady Bunch or Trek would be seen before dinner. First to the "kid's t.v." would win. I hated STNG because it was too PC and copied too many treks. The Borg and Picard became great but they lost me at hello, and so I never recovered.(Bing Crosby's small breasted grand daughter in Playboy didn't help as I felt sorry for the old trooper). Deep Space Nine was too dark and they never went anywhere but Odo and Quark held it for a bit. Voyager was just Janeway's "we welcome you to Munchkin land" voice hooked up to Jeri Ryan's unbelievable chasse. A fine Republican Senate candidate from Illinois sunk on rumors that while married to Jeri Ryan he attempted to have sex with her in public. My theory is that he could not believe he was having sex with Jeri Ryan, and so sought confirmation.

Still, Spock is much older than Kirk. I do not think they were in the Academy together. However we know Kirk was in the Academy with Finnegan, and the fathers of many dead Red shirt guys. If you want to make a great academy movie, you must faithfully make sure that both Finnegan and all of the dead "I was in the Academy with his father" fellows are represented.

Who should play "young Kirk"? I think it should be Toby McGuire as he can play an insufferable prig. However, Christian Haydenson would cause an equal explosion of Geek Love and also replicate Shatneresk acting chops. To be both young Darth Vader, and young Kirk is to enter a realm where plus 5 Vorpal blades fail to even shave a man.

1 comment:

Dave S. said...

The Slatterys are not subject to the laws of spelling!