Saturday, June 10, 2006

American Standards of Jurisprudence Advance

CRH reports on those pesky activist judges:

I'm sure JJV has already guessed this.

I feel sorry for Mr. Leshem, who thinks his organization's rules will survive contact with a pair of bickering lawyers. I appreciate his concern for standards, though. I recently had to play rock-paper-scissors, and I found people from the hinterlands have adopted a bizarre mutation of the game, in which the players chant "one, two, three", playing their hand on "three." The correct form is to chant "once, twice, three (because you sound silly saying thrice), shoot," and play on "shoot."

Ed. note - I'm sure Justice Kennedy has already cited Icelandic rock-paper-scissors precendents in various Supreme Court rulings, although technically the game there is known as "rock-lichen-lava." Also, CRH's use of the term "hinterlands" turns out to be geared towards those who think Westchester County is upstate. Hmph.

Update 6/15/06 - MC finds a couple of other alternative paths to justice:

1) If "rock, paper, scissors" doesn't work as a dispute resolution method, one can try the approach of these attorneys (pdf) who filed a motion seeking the judge to order a fistfight between the defendant's attorneys (who made the motion) and the prosecuting attorneys.

2) In this case (pdf), the judge ordered the losing attorney to post her rather harsh and pointed opinion on his website. A 21st century demonstration of a centuries old principle - don't piss off the judge.

4 comments:

jjv said...

Ok, see comment below on Upstate. Nascar is a typical upstate diversion. Much like cow tipping and agricultural pursuits.

Dave S. said...

I beg to differ. We had auto racing but nowhere near the scale of NASCAR (for live action, anyway). I believe the name "Weedsport Speedway" says it all. Not to say that there aren't an ungodly number of winged 3s festooning vehicles in God's country (h/t Tim Russert).

Watkins Glen was (and still is?) a big Indy-car track, though.

Anonymous said...

If "rock, paper, scissors" doesn't work as a dispute resolution method, one can try the approach of these attorneys who filed a motion seeking the judge to order a fistfight between the defendant's attorneys (who made the motion) and the prosecuting attorneys: http://www.legalreader.com/archives/images/fistfight.pdf

Anonymous said...

Another interesting advance in jurispridence is also reflected in the following case: http://www.hbharti.com/momah/Notice%20of%20Appeal.pdf

In this case, the judge ordered the losing attorney to post her rather harsh and pointed opinion on his website. A 21st century demonstration of a centuries old principle - don't piss off the judge.