Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Hey, Teacher, Leave Us Kids Alone... to Oil Up and Run Around Naked

From Ohio comes this odd report of a high school student who undressed, rubbed himself with grapeseed oil, then ran amok until subdued by police. No one was hurt although the student was tasered - twice - before the breadcrumb trap was finally ready. OK, I made that last part up (the breadcrumbs, not the tasering).

I appeal to the lubricant experts out there to explain the advantages of grapeseed oil over what would normally be cheaper and more available vegetable oils. Or even Pam. I guess I went to a less imaginative high school where one of the more interesting events was the employment of a weaponized medium-range fried fish sandwich.

The same experts probably could also testify to what it feels like to be tasered while dressed only in, well, dressing.

On the other hand, this Wikipedia entry suggests that grapeseed oil is one of the more healthy forms of wacky student hijinks.


jjv said...

Oddly enough oiling oneself up and running around naked is now mandatory for graduation in Massachusetts.

However, resisting arrest and being tasered is an elective in West Virginia.

LAM said...

Hmm, I thought the mandatory Mass. oil and sprint was only required for future U.S. Senators.

jjv said...

Thought of a better one.

Upon reflection it looked like a Tuttle lesson plan.

RET said...

There ain't no lesson plans, dudes. If the kids want to run around naked, I'm willing to facilitate. After all, they are their father's sons. The exhibitionist genes run deep.

Dave S. said...

Plus I would imagine that grapeseed oil might be relatively inexpensive up there in wine country.

LAM said...

Families running around naked, covered in grapeseed oil: this blog is not what it use to be!