Tuesday, March 25, 2008

There Were Giants In Those Days

On occasion I have been accused of a certain lack of refinement in my cinematic choices. The poltroonic minority that holds this retrograde view shall remain nameless. Almost all movies conventionally viewed as "bad" chosen by me for viewing involve one of the following: 1) vampires; 2) immortal people who can only be killed by separating the head from the body; 3) scantily clad women in need of saving from something like vampires, immortals, dragons, or ninja; 4) comic book characters; 5) space aliens; 6) jingoist hero facing hordes of the ungodly.

Now, review that list. None of these movies can be truly "bad" in the sense the great Joe Queenan means. He writes here for the Guardian, a pinko, limey rag, but he speaks true. For a film to be truly bad it must initially elicit because of those associated with it some expectation of being good, and secondly must turnout not to have entertainment value.

That being said, of all the movies that fit my criteria , (and I did not choose it for the super secret Men's Film Society) only one fits Joe Queenans, Ang Lee's the Incredible Hulk should be added to the list. I deem it the worst comic book movie every to reach theatres including "The Punisher" and "The Fantastic Four." Discuss.


Anonymous said...

Name some names, JJV. And what about TV shows? They often do a better job with those categories. You watch "Moonlight"? That's got 1, 2, and 3 (which, btw, are redundant in most cases, along with 4). It's also a great show. (For the record, I quite liked "Highlander" and an earlier vampire show that "Moonlight" seems a direct ripoff of, though can't remember the name.)

Anonymous said...

I have heard Moonlight is good but did not start watching it early. New Amsterdam and Reaper are current "geek" type shows watched. The problem is I think all of these are pretty good shows.

Batman & Robin was really bad. Wild Wild West was really bad.

I liked Daredevil but I hear most did not. I think it was worth it for the villains alone.

I suspect Ghost Rider was really bad.

But none were as bad as the Incredible Hulk which was directed by Ang Lee (auter) and had Eric Bana and Jenifer Connely in it. It should have been good.

No vampire/science fiction T.V. show is as bad as reality T.V. so I think T.V weeds out bad sci-fi.

Anonymous said...

What about Howard the Duck, produced by George Lucas, and starring (among others) Lea Thompson and Tim Robbins?

jjv said...

Very good. Howard the Duck fits the mold.

Anonymous said...

One of the worst movies, if not the worst, I ever saw (actually walked out of) was "Naked Tango" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100222/). Even though there were no aliens or vampires, the characters are right out of a comic book, and there are plenty of skimpily dressed females (even female nudity!).

Dave S. said...

I am proud to identify myself as one of the Poltroonic Minority.