Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I've Got a Stress Position for You

In the category of "why do I continue to expect anything but the absolute worst from Bush administration officials," attorney William "Jim" Haynes II put on a bravura performance before the Senate Armed Services Committee yesterday. As Dana Milbank of the Washington Post reports, Haynes managed to spew out no fewer than 23 don't recalls, 22 don't remembers, 16 don't knows, and various other protestations of memory loss in a mere two hours. Clearly, Haynes really wanted to win that secret bet that he had with Alberto Gonzalez about who could stonewall the Senate better.

And what was the topic of which Haynes had absolutely no recollection? Only a memo, written by him, recommending the approval of stress positions, nudity, dogs, and light deprivation. Yep, the whole Abu Ghraib ball of wax. Sorry, can't recall, don't know, wasn't me, the dog ate my homework, etc., etc. Oh, and it wasn't like the Senate was asking him about this 2002 memorandum without showing it to Haynes to refresh his recollection -- they actually handed his own legal work to him and asked him to comment upon it. His response -- "I don't recall seeing this memorandum before and I'm not even sure this is one I've seen before." Classic.

Since Milbank writes for a family newspaper, he can only suggest PG rated punishment for Haynes. However, I'm sure that what he was really thinking was that Haynes should be hooded, placed on a box, with wires attached to his junk. That might jog his memory appropriately.


jjv said...

Wait, when did you turn against nudity and dogs?

Dave S. said...

I imagine he has always been at least leery of those two things, in combination at least.