Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hey, you kids, get off the county land I am nominally responsible for maintaining!

Today I officially became a Grownup.

I was at home midday setting up porch furniture that had just been delivered, and saw a car park in the street next to our side fence. Laura had observed people stopping their cars there after hitting the McDonald's drive-through up the street, and just this morning Fiona and I removed the remnants of an apparent late-night al fresco dinner for two.

So, I was not at all lovin' it when I saw a food wrapper come sailing out the window and onto the grass. Full of righteous indignation, I went over to the fence to confront the perpetrator. Our property slopes up from the street so I had the extra advantage of dealing with this behind a fence several feet above street level. Gracie was also in the back yard so I had a mobile reserve to hand. John Keegan would have been proud. ("How did Mr. S. react to this offensive maneuver?")

I digress.

I was shocked to see that the litterbug was a high school student, in fact a dead ringer for Michael Cera ("George Michael, how could you!"). Must have been from Falls Church.

Anyway, I made the kid pick up the litter - after he first said he'd pick it up "later" - at which point he and his girlfriend took off for a more crime-friendly environment (i.e. Falls Church).

I felt really good about striking a blow for community neatness, until I realized that all of the hair had disappeared from the top of my head and I was wearing blue chinos with whales on them.

Also, Laura and I accept that we are now stop #1 for Halloween egging.

3 comments:

J. said...

You may want to get yourself some golf clubs to go with those snappy new whale cords, if for no other reason than the wave an eight iron menacingly at passing teenage ruffians (one of whom, one day, may be dating your daughter). Hopefully, you will have the egg and TP cleaned up by the time we visit.

Anonymous said...

Dave,

If the kids don't thrash your house on Halloween, host a "new home" happy hour and your friends will rise to the occasion.

I'll bring the Jeroboam of Chimay for such an auspicious occasion.

Perhaps tie it in for when J visits. Surely you'd want her to encounter Herr Vecch in all his Decibels in this election season....

Powa .. Muwahhhaaaa

EMM said...

Who knew that Falls Church was home to such ruffians?

Didn't all of your years of gaming teach you anything? You have a fence, start stocking up on the eggs, beer and candy now. Invite your friends over to man the fence and attack at will (not with the beer and candy...)

Blame it on the hooligans. Adults would never egg or TP anything at a party...right?