Friday, October 31, 2008

Why Else Would Erica Jong Have Back Pain?

This is the best thing I have read on famous Obama supporters in a while. I read "Fear of Flying" a long time ago and chiefly remember it for her great contribution to female empowerment "the zipless [fornication]." This, of course, was wild sex with a strange man. Until then I had not realized so many strange men were for female empowerment.

Now in her old age she predicts blood will run in the streets should Obama lose. And that "chicken hawk" Cheney will, like General Grant, lead the troops against the rebels. Who will lead the Obamaite forces, Ayers? He has experience in insurrections.

She also mentions Michael Chabon, gay comic book guy, as her main ally. Ok, the guy could come up with Kavalier and Clay but I simply don't think he believes an Obama loss will require a Cheney lead counter revolution.

The image of all these lefty, formerly extremely hot and promiscuous women sitting around verklempt at the thought of an Obama loss is priceless. Here is the conversation as I imagine it.

Erica Jong: "Hello, Jane, no I'm staying in Europe until BushHitler is overthrown. What's the news?"

Jane Fonda: "Racist white America may vote against the Golden Child. I was just talking to Warren and Shirley and they are equally worried. I'm too old to man Al Queda anti-aircraft guns! He's got to win."

Erica: "Wait its Naomi Wolfe on the other line. I'll patch you in.

Jane: "Hello, Bitch!"

Naomi Wolfe: "Ha! Ha! that book was a while ago, do I call you Barbarella?

Jane: "Neither of us is fit to be naked in public anymore."

Erica "Don't be ageist!"

Jane: "Sorry, I hung around Ted too long!"

Naomi: "I'm worried about Obama, the polls look good but he almost never wears earthtones! His posture doesn't say "Alpha" and the United States his so patriarchal!"

Erica: "That's why I live in Europe, they barely even have men here!"

Jane: " I could never leave California! It would be, like, treason!"

Erica: "Well if Diebold and the Republican Mafia steal this election we are going to have to fight."

Naomi-[Silence] "Uhm...that would be like 9/11 which really put me out. I mean it was really disrupting to my routine."

Jane: "Could we actually take on Cheney and his hordes of strung out, shell shocked Iraqi war criminals?"

Erica: "We'd have to." Dohrn and Ayers are putting everything in place right now."

Naomi: "Erica, I hear they have even better stuff than Valium in Europe, could you bring something back for me that doesn't hurt libido?"

Erica: "Will do, but strangely since I turned 50 random sex with attractive men has become more difficult."

Naomi: "Hope springs eternal."

Jane: "Obama is Hope!"

Erica "Change we can believe in!"

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