I Got Your Poltergeist Reboot Right Here

Bothan spy Pam T reports the discovery of a gladiator graveyard in Britain. I can tell you that if I saw one of those coming out the TV or from underneath the pool, I'd be out of there like a shot.

Today's Swagger Stick Award for Driest Utterance by a Briton goes to Michael Wysocki for this explanation of evidence indicating the occupation of the deceased:

It would seem highly unlikely that this individual was attacked by a tiger as he was walking home.

Jolly good show. On the other hand, he might have been one of the first students in this class: