Tuesday, March 01, 2011

She Blinded Me With Science

I did go to college in the 80's. And this jogged my memory. I was playing a game called Killing as an Organized Sport "KAOS." Wherein you shot darts at people in front of you on a list while someone behind you on the list tried to "kill" you. I was a freshman. One night I was serving beer at the fraternity I was to join (as was Dave) and a girl dressed to the nines would not leave me alone. Having, at this tender age, accumulated all the knowledge I required to make the experiment Jonathan Chait disparages unnecessary, I was extremely wary. She asked that I walk her back to her dorm as she was very drunk or some such. That tore it. I walked her back and shot the guy waiting for me on the way and went back to the beer. Eventually I won the game. Today she is married to a staunch NRA supporter.

Listen up guys, sometimes strange women will offer to sleep with you. In my experience this is always trouble. When some nefarious assassin is not waiting behind a tree; the femme fatale is drunk or crazy, or trying to get back at their cheating, jealous and heavily armed boyfriends, or on one occassion,trying to one up one of your former girlfriends. But sometimes, apparently, it's science.


Charlene said...

Rule #1: Never make some crazy person's stuff your stuff.

MLR said...

Didn't you win KAOS your sophmore year too? I remember you refusing to shower, extreme paranoia (more than usual), etc.

jjv said...

Good question MLR! I was in the final 10 but was killed when I put down my gun and began to lather up. It was a clean hit.

Don't forget to tip your waiters. I'll be here all night.