Saturday, January 26, 2008

"Do you expect me to talk?" "No, Mr. Slattery, I Expect You to See 20/20!"

Although you'll need reading glasses in a couple of years...
Those of you who know me are aware of my inability to see - anything - without glasses whose prescription rivals that of the Hubble Space Telescope. This coming Thursday, that will change as I go under the beam for Lasik. There was a slight delay as workers labored to complete the extra-power laser required. Fortunately the clinic is just down the street from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (this is actually true) so a sufficient power source is in place, with none of the regional brownout that would otherwise have attended the event.

By coincidence, the physician pushing the buttons also corrected Tiger Woods' eyes, whose prescription actually was identical to mine. We shall see how it affects my golf game. (I am a scratch golfer in the sense of having scratched golf from the List of Things I Can Do.)

In the meantime, the post-procedure regimen is: no computer, no reading, for at least 24 hours. As a software designer who enjoys reading and, yes, blogging, this will be a bit of a challenge.

The image and post title are of course from Goldfinger, the best Bond film there is and ever will be. Hey, is that a gauntlet on the floor?

8 comments:

jjv said...

Diamond's Are Forever.

Live and Let Die

The Man With the Golden Gun

Dr. No. and, God Help Me,

The Spy Who Loved Me.

I could go on, but Goldfinger is up there.

Dave is very excited about this surgery but he will still be greeted, contra thirties movies, to the exclamation, "Why Mr. Slattery, without your glasses you are not beautiful, eat a sammich for God's sake."

Also, in other news, Obama is crushing she who must not be named in S.C., who if she were a bond girl would be known as bitchie galore.

Dave S. said...

You are correct in that Goldfinger is up there, but you failed to end that with "at the top."

Also, can you be more specific about that quote? I am confused, but then again I have just eaten a hearty meal of Thai takeout.

J. said...

This may be your best post yet. Very clever, Mr. Slattery. However, I am now questioning how well I really know you as I did not realize you were that near-sighted (though it does explain some things ; ). Nor did I know Tiger was. He seems to be doing okay post-surgery, so I have high hopes for you, too. En garde!

Loved the "Bitchie Galore" comment. (So would "Itchy Galore" be the Gold Bond girl? ; )

As for "Goldfinger," that may very well be the best Bond film ever (or to date), though it did not have the best title song (sorry Shirley). Sean Connery, however, was -- and is -- the best Bond.

Anonymous said...

Good luck, Dave!

As you may know, I had the surgery just over 10 years ago (fans of The Simpsons know that my eyes could fall out any second). I haven't worn glasses since and for years my vision was 20/20 in the left eye, 20/15 in the right. In the past couple of years my eyes have slid all the way to 20/30 (no doubt attributable to the fact that in those unenlightened days we didn't know not to read or look at computers for 24 hours). Nonetheless, I am delighted with the results - which were so good that Fencergal also went and had her eyes done.

You will be assimilated ... :D

JCC

Dave S. said...

Yes, I am truly a man of mystery. Currently gigantically nearsighted mystery, although I am looking forward to assimilation into the Sighted Collective.

I love the "Itchy Galore as Gold Bond Girl" formulation.

J, sadly, is incorrect, as the title theme from Goldfinger is in fact the best one. (I know JJV is a closet a-ha fan so we won't ask him.)

J. said...

What about Paul McCartney's "Live and Let Die" or Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better"? (I am also partial to Madonna's turn on "Die Another Day," though I think Shirley Bassey is a better singer. And I think A-Ha gets a bum rap.) Come on, Dave!

P.S. When I first read the title of this post, I thought you were referring to the TV news show "20/20." ; ) Is there a surgery to correct misperception?

Dave S. said...

Both songs are quite good but are not as good a fit with their respective movies as is "Goldfinger."

You will not find a heartier defender of "Take On Me" but a-ha had no business being handed the title song to any Bond film. It especially suffers in comparison to the Pretenders tune you hear briefly on the milkman/assassin's Walkman.

Re your PS - Would that there were!

Mike Sauter said...

McCartney's "Live and Let Die" would be the best if it weren't for that horrid obsession with prepositions.

"In this ever changing world in which we live in"?

wtf?