Dave S. Thanks for reminding me that squirrels are evil. I've had two experiences with the creatures in my humble abode.
The first was a few years ago...I had spent the night at my boyfriend's place (how tawdry!) and when I got home noticed a number of things had been knocked over...long story short, I called my landlord who assured me he had not been in my apartment and suggested I call the police and he would change the locks. Police came and searched my tiny abode...nothing missing, but a lot of stuff out of place. As I was cleaning up and on the phone with my mom, a baby squirrel ran out from under my bed and over my foot and scared the living bejeezus out of me. My mom thought the intruder was back to murder me (I let out a rather loud scream).
Sooo, I call the landlord and we set a trap. I go to work. Get home...stuff knocked over again...empty trap. Go outside to tell landlord (handy that he's wearing rubber gloves while washing his car). I go back inside and tread lightly, afraid of the killer squirrel.
I get the the bathroom and turn on the light and what do I find? The squirrel, floating in the toilet. I don't normally scream like a girl, but I ran outside yelling "eeeew its dead in the toilet!!!!" Landlord sent me to his house for wine and went in with gloved hands to remove the sad little creature from the loo of death.
The second was last year around Christmas. I got out of the shower and heard a commotion (we have a new fancy alarm, so I knew I was not being robbed)...what did I find scampering back and forth (knocking stuff over)? A squirrel. This one came in through the chimney. So there I am, clad only in towels trying to call the landlord, neighbors, somebody to come over so I could get dressed while they kept an eye on the squirrel. But nooooo....no rescuing of the damsel in distress.
Thankfully after much pleading with the creature to leave through the back door and to please not kill me, it left and my Christmas Tree remained intact.
And yes, I do realize I called the cops on a squirrel!