Monday, July 05, 2010

Wait, There are No Rollup Orchards?

General Mills is being sued over the nutritional value of Fruit Roll-Ups. Apparently - and I hope you're sitting down for this - they are not enormously good for you AND may have other not-so-good stuff in them!

Clearly the plaintiff is unfamiliar with the Car Interior Rule which holds that the ease of removing a snack item from the interior of a car is in inverse proportion to its nutritional value.

Update: I was remiss in not crediting my lovely wife Laura for sending this my way. She reminds me that our kids are partial to the Foot-Long Roll-Ups; if you look at those and think "Hey! Nutrition!" I suggest you sue your eye doctor instead.


J. said...

I am shocked. SHOCKED, I say! Next thing you'll be telling us, Goldfish are not actually made from fish.

Reed said...

From the files of litigious Lemmings comes a true story of a man driving a Winebago who put said vehicle on cruise control so he could go in back to make a sandwich. Surprisingly, while in the back his recreational vehicle went off the road and crashed.

He sued... and won. Future owner's manuals now contain warnings to not leave the wheel at anytime even while on cruise control.

Again, shocking...

Dave S. said...

Sorry, Reed, that's an Urban Assault Vehicle Legend.