Sunday, October 01, 2006

Right Wing, Sane and Loving It.

I felt that this post confirmed all of my long held prejudices, besides the view that rooting for Boston makes one impotent, and crazy women are great in bed. One thing I did not see here is a comparison of Right and Left dystopia. For the Left Wing the darkest future is the Handmaid's tale, where young nubile women bear children for powerful older men and their castrating wives, something like the procreative options on the Upper West Side. The Right takes a different view of nightmares. For us Brave New World and the Forever War will do. In the first, everone is happy but manipulated and unfree and in the second there is an endless war with no glory. The worst part of Mr. Haldeman's the Forever War is when the whole world turns gay and the eternal warrior and the ship's cat are the only hetrosexuals; this does not make for good shore leave. To really get a great dystopia is to combine that and the Handmaid's tale. After long war against America's foes, the eternal warrior returns to face Rosie O'Donnel commanding him to impregnate her equally loud, boxy and thick legged sapphic compatriot. Stone cold lesbians never look like the ones in Penthouse and often have a negative story about the men the met before the "realized" they were lesbians. An alternate horror is to be forced to listen to about 1000 of these stories from women who could not find male companionship at mass release of inmates at Attica. I'm done, remember to tip your waiters.


Update: I forgot the other dystopia for liberals which is Starship Troopers where only soldiers vote and there is a forever war with actual glory. On the other hand, in the movie everyone is exceptionally attractive, except the Bugs of course. Also, the title of this post should be done in Maxwell Smart's voice and be taken about as seriously.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

stone cold lesbians

Interesting choice of phrase. I've actually met a number of confirmed lesbians who are, in fact, smokin' hot. Apparently being smokin' hot disqualifies them from being stone cold lesbians in the right wing world.

John C.

Dave S. said...

A gratuity for such gratuitousness? I think not.

I know four children who can counter your first prejudice.

jjv said...

Perhaps I was unclear, they are unfounded (or at least thinly sourced) prejudices. The constant, long term prescence of Boston fans ought to have made that clear.

Dave S. said...

I read the post's title in your voice and it provided exactly the right gravitas.

jjv said...

I will also note, before anyone else does, that the week of de-foleyation of Congress was perhaps not the best timed post of the millenium.

jjv said...

I just noticed that John C "confirmed" the lesbianess of "smokin' hot" women of his acquaintence. Please describe in detail the process of such confirmation. Include descriptions of participants and confirmation ceremony. (that I have to ask this question is proof positive Homer does not read this blog).

Here is a tip, however. When a woman in a bar tells you she is a lesbian 99 times out of 100 its because she does not want to waste breath confirming all the reasons she does not wish to give you her number.

However, my numbers may be off a little because in the last 10 years or so I have been out of the dating pool and the tactic of telling a guy your are a lesbian to attract them has been increasingly popular.